merry risa

hidden tracks and bits that don't fit

2011-05-07T16:05:00.000+10:00

Some say the music album as we know it is not going to be the way of the future - that as we download songs one by one, we don't have to buy albums, and we make our own playlists in whichever order and with whatever mix of songs that we like.

This is true for me when I hear a song I like but don't really think much of the rest of a bands material. But where I love a band, I tend to love their albums. Maybe not all the songs on the album equally, but there will be something about the album, and the order the songs are placed that is special. So I say, the album won't be dead for some time yet.

However there is one thing that has thankfully gone out of fashion with albums and that is the hidden track. I know many bands did this in the 90's, and I never encountered one that bettered the album from being there. Do you know what I mean? you have the disc with the song list and the length of each track displayed on the album cover, but when you'll be listening to it, tacked on to the end a hidden track kicks in. The one that comes to mind right now is Crowded House's "Woodface" which has "We're still here" kick in at the end of the album after a considerable gap of nothing. Dreadful song. Unlike anything else on the album. You wish it wasn't there. You have to stop what you're doing at the end of the CD and stop it before the hidden track starts to play. A little annoying.

This brings me to an album we got this week - brand new. Fleet Fox's 2nd album "Helplessness Blues". I love their first album - it grew on me rapidly after it became something we could reliably play at my daughter's bed time, and it seemed to calm her down. Then I realised it was really very good. Then I found I didn't get sick of it with countless listens, then I became a Facebook fan and searched youTube for released live footage and then I realised I was hooked.

So along came their second album and I knew the band had spent a long time perfecting the album, and I'd read a positive review in the UK press where prior to release, and I expected a good album. And it is a very good album - as good as their first. I liked it on first listen. However, there is one flaw with it. It's not quite a hidden track. They have quite a few songs that have 2 or 3 distinct parts, like is common in classical music. And usually it works fine. But there the 10th track on their new album has what sounds like freeform jazz in the last 90 seconds of the song. Before this track, and for the majority of this track, the album is one style, then there is LOUD freeform jazz style, then back to the original album style.

It really doesn't work. Someone should have told them before the album was released. I get the feeling we may be editing out that section ourselves...

Otherwise, love the album, look forward to what the band does in the future, and will certainly listen to this album a lot too!

like sands through the hourglass...

2011-04-24T09:18:00.000+10:00

Life is pretty good. Now my youngest is one and 3/4, life is getting easier as she is more independent with walking and talking. Oldest is off to school next calendar year! I'm so excited! Still a long way off though!

Work is good - the position suits me still and I still seem to be suited to the position! Such a nice way to be after 2 less well suited contracts between having the children. They recently offered me an extra 1/2 day a week, and I've been doing this (the extra time is done flexibly when I like - I don't need to be in the office).

There was now no excuse for not getting a cleaner and we bit the bullet and did it! How on earth did we manage without one? (the answer is of course that we didn't - the bathrooms were only cleaned every month or so and the flooring and dusting... well we did the best we could, but it's much cleaner now!). There is still more than enough housework to do with 4-5 loads of washing per week, cooking and tidying. I'm also managing to sew, knit and crochet, and I joined a book club that meets in a pub every 2 months (no one DARE say it's time that I should be cleaning the house!!).

My partner and I also hit 10 years of marriage and over 12 years together. Quite a big milestone! The big thing to avoid at this stage we find is taking each other for granted, and we've been working a little bit on avoiding this becoming an issue.

So of course not everything is perfect - I don't see good friends as often as I'd like, and friendships present challenges from time to time. People who you thought were becoming good friends stop making the effort, or you start to realise they have attributes you're not sure you can be bothered with. Sounds harsh, but when there is such limited time to socialise, you become choosey about who you spend that time with. For me it's a struggle to find someone who is not busy all the time, or who might be free to spend time with me and kids in tow and who isn't at work the same days as me. I expect I'll make new friends next year when E-chan starts school, and see certain people more often, because our kids will be at the same school. It kind of feels like a holding pattern in the meantime...

You have a time when you are happy, then perhaps a little too cruisey, then you stuff up and feel like a goose for a while - want to crawl into a shell somewhere. In a 2nd or 3rd-hand bit of wisdom from a friend I've long since lost touch with - some old wise being (Buddha? Confucious?) said: the first thing to master is to do wise things, then you need to master saying wise words, then finally thinking wise thoughts. Well I've stuffed up on the 2nd point - not saying wise things - a few times in the past few days and now wish to crawl into a shell somewhere. Humph.

I'm struggling to know what to write in this blog of late. I started it thinking it'd be a good way to keep in touch with some old friends and share ideas via links and photos. However, there are other ways to do this electronically these days. The one benefit of the blog I think is that you can be more anonymous and control which of your friends know about it. But because of some of the personal things I've put in here, particularly when I was younger, I'm a bit shy about sharing with newer friends. But for now it is still here...

Cycles

2011-01-23T13:43:00.000+11:00

Things come and go in cycles – we all know. And of course with a period of uncertainty, one can feel a little low when additional setbacks, the ones that come out of the blue, make you feel worse than it should. A few things are changing in our household this year – mostly the children are transitioning to a new childcare centre.

This is better in the long run, I’m sure – we can walk there with the kids & not have to worry about being reliant on the car and parking and all those hassles, there should be more time at the end of the day between picking them up and starting dinner which means more quality and playing time for me with them. But there have been a few teething problems to sort out in this centre which made us wonder if we were doing the right thing.

Moving from the familiar – where our kids have been going since E-chan was 11 months, where he has bonds with all his teachers and good friends, where Astro-girl feels comfortable and was starting to make baby friends – to the unfamiliar. We have needed to reach out to new people to put down as our Emergency Contacts on the children’s forms, to cover us in case in the rare instance that we are both unable to be reached in emergency, and some people we regard as good friends did not give us a very straightforward answer which was slightly bewildering.

And then things start to cycle upwards again…. 2 other families who live in our immediate neighbourhood have been more than happy to help out as “emergency contacts”, as we are with them. And of course it’s a good centre, and our kids are starting to orient themselves. Our eldest is doing us proud – introducing himself to his new carers and telling them his age, and asking where the toilets are, and telling his little sister that he will show her around on her first day. All this he came up with himself. He’s growing up and all the things we teach him are gradually sinking in.

After his 3rd week, however, he spat the dummy and didn’t want to go. I totally understand how he feels – I started a new job recently, and I didn’t know anyone, and no one offered to take me to lunch. But I am self sufficient and have dealt with this many times, while E-chan is dealing with it for probably the first time since he has been old enough to fully comprehend his position. By contrast, his baby sister bumbles along in the new centre and is happy to follow along other kids and play with new toys.

What to do? There is nothing we can do – we can’t change him back to his old centre, we can’t keep him at home with us, I can’t quit my job, I can’t get family to look after him. What’s more, he’ll go through all this again next year starting school. It’s just one of those situations where as a parent all you can do is offer your support and understanding and give lots of extra cuddles to cheer them up, because only he can teach himself how to make new friends…. a life skill truly worth learning.

----

And then there’s cycles of the menstrual kind. Apparently – according to my Dr – in your mid to late 30’s, cycles start to get irregular again. And for many, heavier. Great. My cycles have always been light and just under 4 weeks long, and I have just had a long time either pregnant or breastfeeding, which has meant no periods or very light ones. Part of me is transported back to my teens again, worried about when my period might start, will I be caught out without pads etc, wearing the wrong kind of thing? Exiting the “young lady” category is meant to be more dignified, surely?

Life in the working world

2011-01-23T13:30:00.001+11:00

I've been in this job 4 months now, and the honeymoon period (for want of a better term) still hasn't really worn off. I'm still enjoying it - I'm liking the work, the people, the location, the 3-days-a-week loading. I'm optimistic I can do good work here, and am getting good feedback from my superiors too. The department I am in has a progressive mix of people - a stark contrast to workplaces I have been in prior to now. I am enjoying adult conversations about things I don't usually get to think or talk about.

I chatted with one lady in the tea room yesterday about poetry - she tries to read a poem every day - and she told me about the Poetry Foundation website (I've not really read much poetry since high school, having been based in the sciences for much of my educational and professional life). I suspect poetry may be perfect reading for my short bus trip. A few minutes after I had got back to my desk, she suddenly appeared with a few bits of paper to give me, saying "Here are 2 of my favourite poems" then scampered off! One of the poems was "Howl" by Allen Ginsberg.

And I continue to be amused by my generation/cultural gap with the ladies I sit near:

The Gen Y ladies in my office area were talking about Morrissey, and my ears pricked up. I was surprised to hear his name mentioned, as they didn’t strike me as your typical Morrisey/Smiths fans. Then I realised they were talking about the fashion designer… of course…

----

I took the kids last year to an open day at the place I worked before I had kids.

To fill you in - I didn't go back to work there after having E-chan for a few reasons - one of my 2 bosses didn't approve my working part-time, and the commute by car on the expressway - 1 hour each way on a good run - just didn't feel safe or sensible with a baby in child care at our end of town. And full-time work wasn't really an option, with C-chan just starting out as a lawyer, and no family in Sydney to help out with E-chan. So I decided to apply for other jobs after my maternity leave rather than go back.

This job was pretty hellish too - not one I'd apply for now, or maybe I would knowing what I know now, but not with the skills and experience I had in my late 20's. It was the sort of job where a place had lots of problems, an the powers-that-be created a new position (ie my job) with the hope of solving all those problems. As a result - I was stretched in 5-million directions (ok, slight exaggeration), had to learn a lot on the job (as very few people if any would actually have all the required skills), and in the end, I think a lot of the problems were actually cultural/attitudinal problems in both of the 2 offices that my position straddled.

But I very much left without knowing how I was regarded, feeling I had unfinished business. The open day felt like a good opportunity to firstly show my son some plants and agricultural things (often lacking from museums), say "hi" and just go there for a few social hours.

And it was a good experience to go back there. I was pleasantly suprised to be greeted with smiles from my former colleagues. Going with 2 young kids in tow is also the perfect ice-breaker, and they were really well behaved too. And I did get a piece or two of positive feedback, which coupled with people being happy to see me has done my professional confidence some good.

So this is one of my steps in trying to get professionally connected again. I feel like I'm working in a field I know something about now, which is nice compared to the contracts I took between kids. And it's time to start feeling confident, to know that I know what I'm talking about

----

C-chan has almost finished his second secondment as an in-house counsel to a company. Pretty much starting a new job, really - new people, new office, new culture, new commute, new projects to focus on. So even though his work conditions & pay etc are continuing, this is a bit stressful. It will only go for another week or so (since last November?), so chances are he will never feel like he is hitting his stride. But a good opportunity to get work experience somewhere else without actually having to apply for a new job.

At the same time, the kiddies are changing child care centres. A whole new post there... for another time.

Belated Happy New Year!

Holiday Dreaming...

2010-12-16T13:49:00.000+11:00

Months of one thing after another – sickness, coughs, colds, gastro, CHICKEN POX, sore backs, runny noses, returning coughs, MORE GASTRO – and a summer holiday seems particularly well deserved. I've finished work for the year, and while I only have about 1 week of leave accumulated, my employer shuts down between xmas and new year and gives us bonus leave for non-public-holidays during that time, so I'll get 2 weeks off! Gotta love it! Job going well so far too!

Daydreaming about:

We’re all going on a summer holiday! 3 nights in a holiday cabin by the beach. Sandcastles. Hunting for shells. Lying down under a beach tent reading holiday novels. Fish & chips and lemonade. Beer on the veranda. I realise actually doing this with a toddler and 4 year old may not be smooth sailing, but I’m still smiling with anticipation.
One lunch date plus a night away from both kids while they are looked after by grandparents. It’s the big 10 years for our marriage! Where did this time go? Yet look at all that has happened in this time! We look so young in the wedding photos. There isn’t really anything I’d do differently.
Little girl walking around, pleased with her new skill that allows her to get around and carry things at the same time – something that is very difficult when you are crawling! Now she wanders from room to room, she greets me at the door when I come home, she moves little chairs and foot stools around, she can wear little skirts and dresses (do we ever grow out of playing dress-ups? Got myself a cryin’ walking’ sleepin’ talkin’ living doll!)
Could I possibly incorporate Cliff Richard into this post one more time?
The possibility that one day soon, my four-year-old will learn manners. This is something you have to prompt CONSTANTLY. “What do you say, E-chan?” “I didn’t hear a magic word…”. Occasionally, you yield results, and spontaneous thankyous, pleases and hellos and goodbyes spring from their dear little lips. I can still remember my own mother prompting me. Did it take me soooooo long to learn?

Other random happenings in da street and out and about:

A man doing that funny little dance we do when we drop a piece of paper and it blows away in the breeze. Stomp! Missed! Run after it, swipe, miss! Stomp! Got it!
The suburbs are alive with the sound of jack-hammering. Excavation and building works galore! One site being excavated with building starting in the new year, another being converted from warehouse to boarding house, another site will start demolition any day now. Population in our area set to grow, which is not a bad thing, really - it might yield some useful shops and restaurants closer to our house.
For a short period of time, we are having to drive the kids to child care, as my partner has been seconded to an office in a public transport black hole, and gets parking paid for in the car park of a casino. I think I mentioned before I lack the gambling gene. First time I went to get the car and pick up the kids, I got lost in the casino. I can think of almost nothing worse than being lost in a casino. No one looks happy - everyone looks nervous. Why why why waste your money? The only thing casinos are good for are late night cocktails when everything else is closed...

ASD

2010-11-09T20:32:00.000+11:00

Not just one, but two (ie both) of my nephews have been diagnosed with Austism Spectrum Disorder – one has is more mildly than the other. I think I might have mentioned this in a previous post. When you’re a long way from your family and they're coping with a big thing like this you feel kind of useless. I have no idea what life is like for them on a day to day basis, I have no idea whether this brings my brother and his partner to tears on occasion, and when I talk to him, the kids are around (his and mine), so it’s not appropriate to dwell on things like that.
I’ve been meaning to read up more on the topic for a while. I did a few web searches a while ago, but much of what is on the internet is either very basic introductions to the topic, or forums for parents of autistic kids (who would already have a lot of knowledge). I chatted to my brother over the internet the other weekend, and saw him interacting with his son, and could see that he was learning how to manage certain behaviours. It was so good to see. And given their first 2 children are the ones with ASD’s, they compare notes with me and my children, as they are realising they don’t really know what normal is.

So I went and found myself a book on the weekend. I’m really glad I did, although it has sent me on a mini emotional rollercoaster. Nothing compared to what my brother has gone through, I’m sure, but it still upsetting.

Autism and related disorders like Aspergers are relatively new to the world of Psychology and Psychiatry. It was first described, with a few misconceptions, in the 1940’s, with big leaps in understanding made in the 1970’s & 80’s, but there is still much to be learned. Verbal communication is a big challenge for kids with ASD – they don’t read faces well, often don’t pick up social cues and can’t really see when they’ve upset someone. At first I heard that someone with autism can lead an almost normal life, but I am beginning to understand that there may not be a great chance of that for my nephews. We’ll have to see how things develop as they grow older, of course. See how they manage school and life outside school.

There is still a lot to be learned, especially about what causes ASD’s. There seems to be some level of heritability with the condition – that is, siblings have a higher chance of getting it where there is already a diagnosed case in the family. This has led me to think about my family – has this sprung up before? And me? For a fleeting moment I dwelt upon times when I’ve missed critical social cues. But I know I don’t have this problem, nor does anyone else in my immediate family. Extended family? Not sure. Sister-in-law’s family? Even less sure. And then, is there any point in knowing this? Anyway, one of the theories is that people who develop ASD may be of the personality type that is prone to social difficulties, but ASD is brought on due to difficulties in early life, possibly even in utero. This fits with what we know about my nephews somewhat.

So, I am yet to read the chapters in my book about treatments, interventions, management, and more in depth descriptions of how someone with autism functions. This is far more practical to know about as a family member… Hoping to become a fount of knowledge, enough to bore my next dinner party with!

Over the hill, and test patch, honey!

2010-11-09T08:11:00.000+11:00

Went to a friend’s 40th on Saturday night – my first one for someone other than my parents.

Got lost on the way there. Something must be off with my usually excellent, homing pigeon sense of direction. That, or critical street signs were missing.

Went sans husband, as he wasn’t feeling up to it. Realised at the last minute that I hadn’t shaved my armpits, and was wearing a short-sleeved dress. Husband’s response “Oh well, go French!”. One of the many reasons I love this man!

Saw a lady on my way there with bright orange legs. She really should have done a test patch with that fake tan!

And Sleazebags. How I haven’t missed thee! Right down to the shoving their head in your personal space to make themselves heard over the music, even when you aren't really interested in what they have to say.

At what point do you stop being referred to as a "girl"?

2010-10-28T14:12:00.000+11:00

So, I'm in an open plan office, and the 3 ladies who sit near me are 8-10 years younger than me. One of the older men who works near by walks past every morning and says "morning girls"!! I find this amusing. I often wonder if people can tell I'm a mother of 2 in her mid-thirties? (Exactly in my mid-thirties, I might add). I am such a bad judge of age, but can others guess where I fit?

I should add that I don't feel old, and I love being the age I am. But I am beginning to feel that sense that certain opportunities are going to get hard for me from now... It may be more a circumstance thing (ie 2 young kids) than age. I hope so - I hope I'll always be open to new challenges, expanding my mind, meeting new people. But I recently saw this website about words from other languages that can't be translated into an equivalent english word, and "Torschlusspanik" (from German) kind of made sense. (I also like the word "Jayus" from Indonesian!!).

But I digress. As I was saying, I sit near 3 twenty-somethings. I don't want to sound condescending - they are amazing young women. One of them came up with this website, has marketed it to law schools around the country, and earns a supplementary income from it. But I am feeling a definite generation gap here. Some of them still live at home with parents, saving money. I had to expain to them what YUP-pies stood for, and DINKs. And they still care about concepts such as being cool, and having their personality quirks (that we all have, don't we?) understood. I suppose I am accustomed to being one of the younger ones, like the little sister in the office, and it is a suprise to find this is no longer the case. I suppose it gives me an idea of how my older friends and colleagues have viewed me up until now...

Commuting!

2010-10-28T13:38:00.000+11:00

Oh the joys of commuting on public transport! I haven't done this since 2004, when I last worked in the city... between then and this job, it's been walking or car.

My commute is short and sharp - takes 15 minutes on the bus. I can walk if I like - it takes 50 or so minutes (I may need to work on finding a better route) - but I find I'm usually in too much of a hurry, and would rather spend time with the family than be walking a long time.

So what do you do on a bus for 15 minutes? I don't always get a seat, so rarely get a book out, or knitting. That leaves: thinking, and people watching.

Inner city bus routes always have such a mix of people! Parents with young kids on their way to child care, school kids, people in suits, Uni students, old folks, funky haircuts, experimental fashion that is actually ill-suited to a particular body type... the list goes on and on! Many people have white headphones in these days* and have their heads down while their fingers fiddle and scroll through phone and pod menus.

And the conversations. A personal favourite form of on-bus entertainment is the deeply personal phone call that everyone can hear.

So I am getting used to commuting again. I don't like waiting long for buses, and often run to catch buses that I would otherwise miss. The other day, I sprinted to the bus, got on, shoved my ticket in the slot whilst catching my breath, then looked up to catch a youngish lad in a suit with a fauxhawk staring at me with a furrowed, concerned brow. I'm not entirely sure what it was about me that didn't meet his approval!

*do I sound old or what?

Social compatability

2010-09-15T15:54:00.000+10:00

I went out for a friend's birthday at a restaurant on Friday night. An adult party for a change! My better half was sick so he stayed home with the kids.

I (re) met someone I'd usually met before on a more - well - family setting (ie usually at kids parties or at playgroupy things), and he too was there without his partner.

He was the sort of person I don't usually warm to, and I have to say, I feel the lack of warmth coming straight back at me. I don't really know how to describe this sort of person, and these are of course just superficial observations, but they're usually blokey (but saying that, there are many blokey men I do like), are not very interested in talking about anything vaguely intellectual (or to me, interesting), conform mostly to more traditional male stereotypes, homophobic, and behave differently depending on whether their girlfriend/spouse is about. The last one is the one that sets of the biggest alarm bells for me - if they can't be themselves around their partners or their friends, how can you trust them? (Note to friends: this is not the bit where you tell me I have exactly described how my own partner is when I am not around! ...anyway, I wouldn't believe you, he's too into books and hates talking about sport).

So who did I end up talking to? Well there were a few other people I already know socially and I chatted to them, but the new person I introduced myself to was a Tim Minchen look-alike (but with proper dreads), with grungey clothing, who is a stay-at-home Dad to a 1-year-old and his older step daughter, and has read widely on child psychology and development. Cool.

Letting hair down, the importance of being earnest, and getting employed again...

2010-09-13T10:08:00.002+10:00

Since I wrote last, my luck has turned somewhat, and a 3-day-per-week job came up that I felt I could apply for. Got an interview and the job, as it turns out! Hip hooray! My interview success rate seems to be good - there are only 2 interviews I have done that haven't lead to me getting a job, and both of those were quite informal, and the companies didn't really have a finalised idea of what they wanted a position to do, or even how many days a week, as it turns out. A friend once described me as "earnest" to my then new boyfriend (who then went on to marry me and have 2 children with me, so I don't think this description was a disservice). This earnestness can serve me well when meeting people professionally for the first time, I think.

One of the good things about this job is that I have 2 friends who already work for the same organisation (although in different buildings), and another who is nearby. Lunch dates anyone?! Oh, and Chinatown. How I have missed thee. Dumplings, noodles, more dumplings, and steamed buns!! Another good thing is that it is a longer term contract. The longest contract I've had since around 2004 was for 12 months, and I even had a few 6 month contracts, so I do look forward to being able to be in a place for a few years with stability, and feel like I'm getting good at the job I do.

I should be able to get there by walking or a short bus trip. So life is about to get busy again very soon. C-chan is going to start doing the child care drop off, and I the pick up. It's quite a walk, and rainy days will be a problem, but we'll just have to muddle through, either by taking good wet weather gear, or going home to get the car first then driving to pick them up. We've got both kids down to start at a new centre that's nearer to our house, but have no idea if and when when both places will come up. And we may get used to everything, and keep them on at their current centre, as we do love it there.

Oh, and on to more materialistic matters... I can now financially justify updating my ancient mobile phone, that while not doing very much (text, talk and very low res photos), manages to confuse me no end (even after 3 years) - nothing is intuitive, and the dictionary in its word prediction mode is just plain weird. Common English words that should be in there, aren't, and the words it predicts for me sometimes I swear must be Indonesian. Or something. And the other thing: I will get me a Cleaner. I just know that we will barely get through the loads of washing we need to each week, plus cooking and dishes. Someone else will need to do the vacuuming, floor cleaning, and bathrooms. Life is too short to be trying to cram all that in, along with 2 small children and part-time work.

And the other bit of my title - letting my hair down. I have been in a strange mood lately, that I attribute this to having only a few weeks left before starting work again. That and "having my body back" now that I've finished with breastfeeding. I have found this extremely liberating - even more so than last time. On Saturday I drank 2 glasses of wine before dinner. I played the piano for our neighbours who popped by to get their pot plant, but ended up staying a while. This is not very typically introverted behaviour. My kids thought I was hilarious when I was putting them to bed. The only thing I could think was that I should do this more often!!

My career still goes bung, boo hoo, what's that dear?

2010-08-09T11:44:00.000+10:00

Attempts to find work have not been successful so far. Meanwhile, Astro girl has had 2 days of child care per week for 2 weeks now at the same centre as her big brother - we were offered the place and felt it would be silly to turn it down as places are rare, but unfortunately, finding a job hasn't followed yet... I was far luckier last time I came back from maternity leave - there were positions to apply for, and they went my way. This time, I've applied for a few and not been successful, or not been eligible. And had some weird interview situations. I seem to be lacking the boldness I had last time I was in this situation... becoming more wary of my own limitations, less willing to try anything. I suppose it's a case of being more experienced and wiser, but I don't think it's working in my favour.

Finding quality part-time work is a real challenge. For starters, I'm only available on 3 certain days a week, and I can't change those days easily - it would mean waiting for BOTH my kids to get child care days on different days of the week. Most part-time jobs have lower levels of responsibility, and hence also lower pay rates and are more mundane. So I've had a few moments of devastation - that I have no career; that I'm not likely to "get back in" to areas of work I'd like to be in any time soon (or maybe never); that while my hubby establishes his career in his particular field (since 2007) and works atrocious hours, I can't really do the same, or our life will be mayhem; that I've had a few unsuccessful interviews; that I'm still worried that I'm losing what skills I have; that I have no useful "trade"; that when I get to interviews and they ask the inevitable "what would you call your biggest strength?" I go COMPLETELY blank.

Then on the other hand, I have the kids. They are lovely, and I wouldn't swap being the mum of this family for the world.

Astro girl is crawling, cruising, climbing. She's cheeky, wants to join in on everything that everyone else does, and I'm sure she's bright, curious, talkative (for her age), and beautiful. She's a year old now, by the way. Time just flies.

E-chan is equally gorgeous. He bought me flowers yesterday (OK, with his dad's help, but it was his idea). He's interested in learning to read, has started drawing a lot, is creative (he can tell a good yarn too), sweet, and funny. And he's FOUR.

So life has its mixed blessings, I know. At least I have time to go to the gym once a week, and tend the pot plants. But I will need a job before too long, to bring some income into the house. Or else we will go backwards. And if you hear of a decent 2-3 day a week part time job going in Inner Sydney...

Graffiti by omission

2010-07-16T15:56:00.000+10:00

I wish I knew if there is a proper term for this... it's something I noticed a lot when I first moved to Sydney, especially on trains: people deface signs by scratching out or subtly changing letters to make them humorous.

E.g. on trains: "at night time, rave with the guards under the blue light" (where "rave" used to be "travel")

The other month I saw a cracker on the side of a van - I keep seeking it parked near my home, and I'm surprised it hasn't been fixed...

Originally, it would have been:

"Decrease your home loan costs. The broker with nothing to hide!"

Now, it reads:

"Decrease your melon costs. Broke with nothing to hide!"

Made me chuckle!
Have you seen any graffiti by omission lately?

Week 5 (?) of bad sleep and our conversational ability is degraded somewhat...

2010-07-02T10:49:00.000+10:00

After what seems like many weeks now of bad sleep - due to Astro-girl finally getting colds after a dream run of not, and the rest of us catching them too and feeling generally like cr*p - we are exhausted!
Sick babies have trouble breathing through their noses, and there isn't much you can do but get up to them and give them a hug when they cry, wipe their little noses, give them a drink, or give them something for their fever if they have one. E-chan has been sleeping through his sister's wakings, despite sharing a room with her, and waking us up on separate occasions most nights. So despite a only being woken once last Saturday night, lately it's been more like 3 times a night. On average. Leaves you running on reserve most days, scatty, feeling like you have mountains of stuff you should be doing, but just can't.

This is coupled with end of financial year mahem at C-chan's work, resulting in long hours, with variable coming-home times. We're lucky if he's home for dinner with us one weeknight a week, and even then we're usually more than half way through our dinner before he gets home. I'm pretty fed up with it all.

The other morning C-chan left for work, and said good bye. I replied:

"Right, see you later tonight, when at least one of the kids will probably be in bed already, the house will be a mess because I won't have managed to clean up dinner or the toys yet, your dinner will be cold, and you can complain about having to do housework after such a long day at work, countered by my complaint that I haven't managed to even get to half the housework so don't you start, before Astro girl wakes up and screams for 2 hours straight".

We both had to agree that this pretty much sums things up lately. Things go in phases with kids, and usually there are many good weeks that go by without much reflection that they are indeed good. But gee, would be nice for this phase to pass by soon.*

*PS last night we only had one waking, yay!

Repeated mistakes...

2010-07-02T10:21:00.000+10:00

Tissues in pockets going through the wash; little fluffy bits of white all over out clothes. Not just once, but 3 times in a week!
A lack of accumulated accessories to wear - particularly belts, shoes. This is purely because I don't have the time on my own to shop for them,.
Managing my son's egg and sesame allergies at parties. Oh man, we have been spoilt by having a group of friends who are allergy-aware, because about 3 of the little boys have egg allergies, and a few of them have multible allergies. I find cashews are easy to avoid. But the suprise hommus sandwiches on the kiddy tray, next to the cheese and ham sandwiches? Didna notice! And while E-chan is fine with eating some cooked egg, say in cake, without much ill effect, I forget to ask about the likelihood of raw egg being somewhere in the mix. Raw egg white is a no-no. Result? Mess requiring buckets and mops. When are we gonna learn? C-chan and I clearly need a pre-party battle plan, but are so scatterbrained of late we just don't get around to it. At least he is all better after a dose of antihistamine, and we managed to take that along with us.

Venting the little annoyances of life

2010-06-17T10:49:00.002+10:00

You know your life is privileged when your list of life's little irritations cover such trivial issues in the big scheme of things. However, if we don't vent them from time to time, we risk going bonkers. Here's a list of things that drive me up the wall... how about you?

People who stand still on the escalators and block your way past - the escalator is a means to speed your way up a level, not a sideshow ride!!
Shop assistants, when giving you your change, putting the coins ON TOP OF THE NOTES! Really, how hard is it to put the coins in your hand first, followed by the notes? Maybe I'm just unco, but I find the coins slip off our plastic note currency if placed on top, and have dropped them countless times.
Drunks/teenagers breaking empty bottles of alcohol on the footpath. OK, I know they're drunk, but are they so disconnected from people who ride bikes and push prams that they don't realise they are creating a danger to young kids and pneumatic tyres?
Girls like colours other than pink too! Do you hear that, department stores? And I don't just mean purple...
LED down light sellers - do I really need to get an electrician to change over my high energy usage halogen down lights to an LED alternative, or can someone somewhere just tell us how to do it ourselves and which globes to buy?
Those voice-overs the commercial TV networks do over their Drama promos. You know - they put on this creepy (yet ocker) voice, almost a whisper... "And in this weeks' episode of _____ Bill has his work cut out for him.... but you'll never guess what Nancy has planned next!". I want to know WHO DECIDED THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA? Why can't they talk normally?
SATC II: am I the only female not getting a posse of my girlfriends together to see this movie? Yeah - power to them for covering topics supposedly of interest to and from the perspective of females, vacuous and superficial as they are... Am I the only female who's watched a few episodes of this show and decided it's not really that interesting? I'd rather watch "Anne of Green Gables". (Love me, don't judge me!)

Neighbours (becoming friends, and freaky noises in the night, part 5)

2010-06-09T11:04:00.007+10:00

We had a nice little kiddy corner thing going on in our end of our apartment complex. Next door, there were twin boys (now 16 months), and across the corridor, a family of 5 with kids between 6 and 11. The other two mums were home most days, and we could poke our heads out the door and say "hello", chat when we needed adult company, or lend obscure cooking ingredients or appliances. It was nice to have people living nearby who you know are sympathetic when kids cry/chuck tantrums/are being sent to the naughty corner.

But last month, the family with twins moved to the next suburb, and now the other family have bought another unit in the complex - not so far away, but not across the corridor any more. The nice thing is we have become friends with these families, and will keep seeing them.

So what are the new neighbours like? Hard to tell so far, but relatively quiet. They are a couple, and seem nice enough. The fella's work takes him away from home for weeks at a time, so his partner has friends/relatives come to stay with her. She is a sports psychologist and dance instructor!

Last night I we were getting ready for bed, and heard a weird thumping. We thought "oh no, late Sunday night renovations?" I went out into the corridor to try to work out what the noise was, and thought it sounded a bit too rhythmically perfect for a hammer.... then the noise stopped and was finished off with a round of applause from a few people! It was TAP DANCING!

Now I know what it was, it won't bother me again!

Back atcher, babe!

2010-06-05T17:06:00.001+10:00

Things my son has said to us recently (and his tone and choice of words sound eerily familiar...):

"Sometimes you just have to let me have some biscuits/watch one more show/stay up later!"
Us: Why do you have to talk ALL the time?
Him: Because I do!
"Astrid, you have to let Mummy cut your fingernails, otherwise they will grow in and hurt!!"
"Mummy, if I leave the light on in the toilet, you have to leave it on for me for next time!"

I have to confess that the unsatisfactory answers to his questions, along the lines of "Because we said so!" are creeping into our repertoire, just because of the sheer volume of questions asked about everything under the sun and beyond!

No human being is capable of devoting all their childs' waking hours to giving entirely satisfactory, age appropriate answers to every question... especially when you have a son such as ours who talks constantly, and half of that time is asking questions, even when he knows the answer.

This is tough, because I really do want my son to learn and feel important, and when I can, I give careful, considered answers to his questions. But the rest of the time, I have other stuff going on in my head (you know, minor stuff like keeping the household going, looking after a baby and all that it entails), and for short pockets of time, I might actually be having a thought that doesn't involve anyone else's life or ideas but my own!

Oh the compromises you have to make!

When it rains, it pours...

2010-05-26T11:48:00.000+10:00

Life has little fits of hectic-ness (bad English, I know), and I'm in the middle of one right now...
In summary:

Friend/former colleage kindly recommends me to her boss for a 12 month part-time contract, which both interests me and would suit me just fine (both in hours and contract length)
I send in my CV and hear nothing for ages
I'm casually asking about child care for Astro-girl and am hopeful that she can go to the same centre as her big brother (I like the centre, it would only be one drop off etc etc, but it isn't the most convenient really since we moved house a couple of years ago...). Also need to look into Pre-school for E-chan next year. This rainy weather is not conducive to walking around the suburb applying for day-care!!
Astro-girl gets sick for really the first time in her 10-month life, and has had night time screaming marathons, resulting in us all playing musical beds (her dad and I taking it in shifts to carry her around, while her brother is shifted into our bed so he doesn't have to put up with screaming).
The place is a mess - dotted with toys that 2 kids have spread around, now that Astro-girl is mobile.
E-chan decides now is a good time for experimental play resulting in dramas (e.g. plays in bathroom sink for a while, comes out saying "my tongue feels funny!!". After a few moments consideration, it seems getting soap on his tongue is the most likely explanation!! Immediate mouth rise operation initiated...)
You-beaut event I arranged for Playgroup tomorrow cancels due to the flu!
E-chan's child care centre confirmed there are currently no places for Astro-girl, and 2 other families with equal priority to me are also trying to get a place!
Potential new employer (see 1 above) contacts me this morning asking if I want to meet this week (and yes, it's Wednesday!!). Which I do, but C-chan will have to take a few hours off to mind the kids.

I need sleep - more than the 5 hours I've had in the past 2 nights, anyway...

Update on diet...

2010-05-12T12:09:00.000+10:00

As I mentioned in the post before last, I have been trying a high-fibre breakfast so see if it has any effect on the eczema that has been troubling me more than usual lately.

Some result so far - the eczema around my eyes and throat has cleared for the first time in months! I'm impressed. My hands are wrist are another story, but probably caused by other things (contact with dust mites and detergents when cleaning for e.g.). But promising so far.

Mum's Day the Fourth...

2010-05-12T12:04:00.001+10:00

And so I have survived until my 4th Mothers' Day*, and now have 2 children under my belt. Except one will be higher than my belt before too long! That's it for me and child bearing. I've never wanted more than two kids, so should we find we have room for more, it will be fostering or something like that. I would like to be able to help out someone less fortunate than myself. Not yet though.

Mothers' Day was hectic, as is the norm these days. My own Mum was staying at our place (and Dad), and we attempted to go out for a nice cafe lunch. Astro-girl has decided to start being difficult about sleep in the past few weeks (ie waking up more, won't always sleep in the pram, sometimes won't go to sleep in the morning, etc), but she actually fell asleep in the pram, after much complaining, just as we arrived for lunch. Our lunch order was stuffed up, and they waived the fee of one of our dishes, but my Dad didn't realise and gave the cafe staff a serve at the counter when he was paying! Embarrassing!!

My little boy decided to head butt his father on two occasions that day, too. On one of these, I came down the stairs to find him looking all sheepish in the Naughty Corner, and raised my eyebrows at him. He also put his hands on his hips and stared me down about something when we were arguing the other night. Not sure if this is the dreaded 4-year testosterone surge that little boys get... If so, am wondering if this is as bad as things will get with him, or can we look forward to worse from him? We've heard some horror stories about our friends sons recently. So far he's a gentle-natured little boy - he's smart, caring and sensitive, yet masculine. Much like most of the men that are close to me, and my preferred kind of male. At his worst he usually is just plain argumentative.

I am looking forward to seeing how his character develops. And my daughter's too, of course, but her character at 9 months of age is less apparent. I think she may be a bit cheeky! And determined. She's getting more vocal, too - I am destined to have no peace in my household!!

But I love my kids so very, very much, and I can't help but be a bit chuffed every year when Mothers' Day comes around, just because I am the mother of these two.

*hope I got the apostrophe in the right spot...

Back to those diet issues...

2010-04-18T14:26:00.001+10:00

So I mentioned some time last year that my family has a history of bowel cancer, and that I want to reduce my meat consumption (particularly red meat) for environmental reasons, as well as for health.

Vegetarian meals are a challenge, because my little boy is a fussy eater and prefers the meat and 3 veg style of meal. I think fussiness can be common with little kids with food allergies and intolerances, and sometimes they don't like complex flavours. And then there's the fact that he can't eat egg or sesame, and I don't tolerate spicy food or too much tomato. So for the past year or two make do with vegetable soups as our vegetarian meal most weeks (using beans, chick peas or lentils) - blended so E-chan can't complain about the individual ingredients in it, and occasionally we do something like risotto (when we can be bothered bribing our son into eating it). I might try to make some lentil patties soon, see if he likes them.

The other thing we've been doing gradually over time is reducing the size of the meat portions we do eat. We found when we visited our parents recently that we normally eat much less meat than they were serving to us. We craved vegetables and salad.

Next thing for me to tackle was breakfast. I've been eating either yoghurt and wholemeal toast, porridge, baked beans on (wholemeal toast), or a commercial wheat biscuit with milk with banana. I used to eat muesli, but dropped it when I had to avoid nuts during prenancy and breastfeeding - it's too hard to find pre-made mueslis without nuts. Last week I became aware of research that shows a link between high fibre diets and reduced inflammatory and auto-immune conditions - arthritis, asthma, type 1 diabetes etc. Eczema is also an autoimmune condition, and there is arthritis on both sides of my family (but not me so far - fingers crossed).

This was a trigger for me to look at how much fibre I'm eating. While my diet is low in processed food, there are days when my fibre intake is probably on the low side. Breakfast is somewhere I can make a huge difference. So we started making our own muesli - oats, coconut, linseeds, sunflower seeds, psyllium, bran, and assorted dried fruit. First day of eating this was today. I hope to think up more legumey meals (I usually add them to casseroles anyway), and start using brown rice also. I'm hoping I'll notice a difference in a couple of months. Now all I need to do is find some sulphur-free dried fruit - very hard to do!!

However the instant effect has been FEELING GREAT! Gone is that horrible feeling in the back of my mind that I should be doing something about my diet. This is combined with the fact that I've been exercising more - both pushing the kiddies in the double pram, and going to the gym again. Going swimming is temporarily just a bit too hard. I opted for a gym that is 2 minutes away by foot, and bought 10 sessions that I have 3 months to use - should be easy to do even if the whole household gets a bug. Start with something achievable, I says! I'm sure I can bear the bizarre dancey remixes of Guru Josh vs (some new artist I just can't remember), and film clips of attractive young ladies in their underwear for no apparent reason on ten occasions, and by then I may have finally made my own gym playlist for my MP3 player, and can ignore the music more...

So who knows - maybe soon I'll be eczema-free and fitting into all my normal clothes again??? Can't wait to get into my favourite jeans again...

Me kids done me proud, and other adventures...

2010-04-11T15:05:00.000+10:00

Easter took us off on another trip to our home town, Adelaide. Except it was Astro-girl's first plane trip ever. And she was a little trooper! She travels really well, sometimes just needing a cuddle when she's tired. She fell asleep on my lap on both flights. There were mishaps on the way home: well and truly in her "grabbing phase", she grabbed a breakfast bowl half filled with milk and tipped it over - it landed on the seat between C-chan and me, so we both had our pants covered with milk. We laughed it off. E-chan was good also, playing with toys in his seat, and only getting a bit restless from time to time. This is a stark contrast to our last trip, the xmas before last, when I had morning sickness, and a 2 1/2 year old E-chan screamed for half an hour straight (on a 6am flight) out of fear we would crash. Parenting does get easier, people!

Our kids adjusted to a lot of things apart from the journey: strange beds, strange houses, strange prams, with no bedwettings, and not too many tantrums. E-chan even spontaneously said "this is the nicest lunch I ever had!" when we went to my parent's house! I had been coaching him to say "thanks for the dinner/lunch" and "thanks for having us", but not what he said!! Manners are slowly sinking in! We went to Henley beach on Good Friday, to the city and the SA Museum on Saturday, the Zoo on Sunday (saw the new pandas, but they were sleepy that afternoon), and to the hills on Monday. A lovely, but brief trip - no time to do much but see family, which was kind of the point.

------------

We look at Adelaide with different eyes these days - gone is the sentimentality with which we used to look at our flat, blue-skied city. In the years immediately after moving to Sydney, we used to wax lyrical about the ease of getting around Adelaide, the Central Markets, the affordability, the quiet.

Now things are different:
- the endless sky is slightly overwhelming, now that we are used to Sydney's many hills.
- the city looks like a little toy town
- in the quiet, I can hear my ears ringing (was that something to do with the aeroplane trip, or do I need to go to an Ear specialist again??)
- we stay on sofa beds at our parents places
- the vegetation looks dry - many lawns (public and private) have just been left to fend for themselves, as long term water restrictions and below average rain takes its toll. My Dad has installed not one but 3 rain water tanks for his 1/4 acre garden
- our activities are driven by the needs and desires of our children
- public transport really isn't as frequent
- Crows, Crows, Port Power, Crows...
- unfavourable family traits are these days overlooked as family becomes more important - more on this below.

Many of these things are not bad things - Adelaide is a very good place to live. It's just we don't have so many friends there any more. And career prospects will never be as good there. But what is becoming more important is family. Kids can tell the difference between those who love them unconditionally (such as grandparents, uncles) and those who are just fond of them or good friends with us.

But as well has the support we would get from having our kids' grandparents in the same city, there is another issue looming - the ageing of our parents... While my parents are in excellent health at present, and in their early sixties, things can go downhill fast in the 70's. My father commented that travel will probably get hard from him from then on. That is less than a decade away! I watched my own parents rather helplessly liase with their sibilings as their own parents descended into alzheimers or old age, frequently having to prepare for sudden trips interstate as their parents' health teetered. I was the only one home the night my Grandma's nursing home called to say Dad's mother had died, and had to call my Dad on a work trip to tell him the news.

So I understand the difficulties involved with ageing parents living interstate. At least my own grandparents had other children and grandchildren nearby to check up on them. My parents have no relatives but each other in Adelaide, and my in-laws have one son, who has a recurring illness himself - the rest of their relatives are ageing themselves or not very close. This is something for us to ponder over the next few years.

Quest for most compatible hairdresser may be at a close...

2010-04-11T14:54:00.001+10:00

Over the years, I have suffered from dreadful incompatibility with my hairdressers. While everyone likes to look nice, I do find my hair cut can be one of the things that gets shoved down the "to do" list when busy - I just grow my hair longer for a while. This is partly because I dread the hairdresser experience...

Don't get me wrong, I love having my hair played with, washed, the smells, the coffee/wine and a tim tam. Many times, I have nearly fallen asleep, semi-reclined at the back of the salon as the warm water washes out my shampoo.

But I do find that hairdresser conversation can be a tad on the mind-numbing side. From the high pitched "So what are you up to tonight?!?" conversation from past young hip, female hairdressers, who struggle to continue conversations I start due to vastly different interests, through to Very Serious male hairdressers who take their business Very Seriously, and give you a 5 minute run-down at the end of the styling process about how they cut down that line to give me more body etc etc blah blah blah, I do find I wish I didn't have to nod and put on a smile all the time.

So a year or so ago I found a salon that was an improvement somewhat. I never managed to have the same hairdresser, but their music was plucked from my own collection, and the conversation wasn't too bad.
Then someone gave me Carmelo's number....

Carmelo operates out of his own house around the block from me. I expected a gay guy in his 40's or 50's, daggy decor, and I don't know what else - shirts tucked into tight ish jeans, fluffy white pooches... Apart from being gay, I got most of this wrong. Carmelo is youngish, of Italian extraction with stunning blue eyes and glasses. He has a dog, but medium sized and black. His house was done in 40's-50's retro style, but humbly so. Immaculate, but then you have to keep things tidy if people use your living room as waiting room.
Sure, I was handed the standard hairdresser array of style magazines, which left me annoyed at myself for forgetting a book.

But then I noticed his book collection. "Succulent Plant Dictionary", and a book about the stereotyping of men, then finally as my hair got washed, cut and styled, I found the time flew, as we had many interests in common. Or perhaps he's just a really good people person. Or it's something to do with the fact that people are coming into his home to have their hair cut, and you can't really pretent to be something you're not. Whatever: I had pleasant, interesting and rambling chats, spanning many of my common conversational topics. My friend says she often comes home with mascara streams down her cheeks from laughter... I may actually find myself going to get a hair cut a bit more often for a while!

Talk to the hand...

2010-03-27T10:47:00.000+11:00

... 'cause the face don't wanna hear it!

This view is somewhat depressing.
But isn't it true that advertising campaigns have effects without people needing evidence? Or is that only when you can be easily convinced that you need something, or something is in your best interest?

quick question...

2010-03-20T14:41:00.000+11:00

Has anyone tried a Diva Cup?

Do you recommend it?

Rich imaginary lives

2010-03-11T14:25:00.000+11:00

I have been coming down hard on E-chan's TV watching - both as a punishment for bad behaviour if necessary, and in an effort personnally to be less lazy when I'm tired and it's just too easy to let him watch another show or two instead of getting pestered as dinner is getting made.

The result has been - not suprisingly, but happily - play rich in imagination. Soft toy dogs (spot, clifford and snoopy) have been REAL dogs, complete with play dough* dog food. Lego has become spaceships. Play dough has been made into caterpillars and a very convincing snail.

And do you know, as I've found in the past, this tough love stuff - you know, being firm but fair - really has its rewards. A couple of whining interludes to endure, and then your kid understands that you mean what you say when you say it's time to turn the TV off, and instead of complaining, his little eyes start wandering around the room, looking for something else to play with....

-------

In a parallel adult world, C-chan and I had to do some imagining of our own. C was asked if he (we) would like to go to Hong Kong for 3 months for work, if it could be arranged. We spent a good week thinking through the implications, the pros and cons, and whether we'd like to go. The answer was "yes", because you don't get opportunities like this very often. Only, a few days later we were told it wasn't going to happen after all. Interesting exercise to go through, however!

* I've made a few batches of play dough recently too - very fun! recipe can be found on the side of the Cream of Tartar tin.

Whirlwind weeks. Again.

2010-02-17T10:15:00.000+11:00

Introducing solids to babies is a drag at first. They push food out, grab the spoon off you, fling food, grimace at new textures and flavours, take ages to eat a tablespoon of mush. That, and until they're eating well and they have less frequent milk feeds, you seem to be feeding them constantly. And cleaning up constantly. And washing bibs and clothes constantly. This can leave little time for anything else, some days.

And this term* E-chan is doing 2 classes - Gymbaroo and swimming lessons. Every day except Sunday has something on. Poor little Astro Girl gets carted around everywhere. It's a wonder she gets any time to practice sitting, rolling, babbling, and eating. But she somehow manages it, and is progressing as she should. No teeth yet (nearly 7 months), but we expect them any day.

Last week was almost an nightmare week. It started with me being a little bit more down than usual: our neighbours, who have little twin boys, and who are great neighbours, and who I'm starting to do more with now that she is managing to get out and about and the boys are older, have put their place on the market. My first thought was "great, yet another person moving away". That, and the lack of job/career issue which bothers me from time to time. And the horrible horrible humid weather, which I hate and makes my skin break out in eczema, and my hands are a complete mess, and I have to wear cotton gloves a lot of the time to stop myself scratching. Then hubby came down with the flu (luckily it turned out to be mild). Then Astro-girl got a fever. Then I got a blocked milk duct (you don't want to know more). Throw in a few nights with less than my (infant-adjusted) average sleep due to all the above factors, and I am knackered.

My eyelids feel like they are lined with sandpaper. My brain is foggy and I keep forgetting things. I've been forgetting to do important things. Forgetting to even reply to invitations, let alone confirm I can't make it. Forgetting doctors appointments.

On the upside, my parents sent us "my" piano - after more than a decade of sitting in their living room as a glorified picture frame stand, they managed to send it over to me so we can play it. It is dreadfully out of tune, but I hope to have the fixed soon. Can't wait to play some more. I hope one, if not both of my kids will get some joy out of playing it, and that I might be able to practice enough to get to a stage where I can have fun with it - playing nursery rhymes for E-chan's kindy, playing sing along songs or christmas carols for example.

Another upside is that I'm starting to get out with friends on my own again. I managed 2 hours out last week after the kids were in bed out with my friend, and we talked for 2 hours straight. It was so nice to not be interrupted by things that needed doing, a babbling baby or a yabbering preschooler. Nice to think this sort of thing can become more frequent now, and that in probably around 6 months, my body will be mine again, mostly.

Another upside (in what must be a 4-sided pyramid?) is that we're a happy family, getting through life's "ups and downs" with plenty of laughter, chaos, yelling, cuddling, and love. All around. Each of us loves the other three. Even the youngest - Astro-girl - pouts when her daddy leaves in the morning, beams at me when I go to get her from her cot, and studies her big brother adoringly. This makes the hard weeks more than worthwhile.

* suddenly things are run in "terms". This is getting scarily close to school, if you ask me.

oh no, not another children's tv host?!

2010-02-17T09:40:00.000+11:00

So I limit my 3y.o.'s tv to 3 shows most days - this gets exceeded when one of us is sick, or lessened if he's been naughty. I let him watch when I'm putting his baby sister to bed usually, to keep him out of the way/quiet. We mostly stick to the ABC stations, because there aren't any ads, and because there are so many kids shows on there you needn't go anywhere else, and most of them are age appropriate for him at the times he watches.
All of a sudden a few weeks ago, the ABC introduces a host for the children's shows...
http://www.abc.net.au/children/giggleandhoot/
Some twerp called Jimmy Giggle and his friend - an owl - called Hoot. Are you laughing yet? Me neither. My son's first reaction when it came on was "what's this? where's (insert favourite show title)?". Hoot has the kind of voice your creepy uncle puts on when he's pretending one of your dolls or teddies can talk. You know - that lame falsetto every male with a broken voice can do. Jimmy Giggle puts on this stupid overly-chipper pantomime voice, chats to his friend Hoot, and... what exactly?
They fill time. They apparently have kids write to them with proclamations of adoration, and send in pictures they've drawn. (I reckon they go down to the childcare centre underneath the ABC and get some of the older kids to do crayon pictures of owls then pretend a viewer sent it in - really - they're not that lovable). I can only think that the ABC is 1) trying to increase their Australian content, because there are actually minimums and many kids shows come from overseas, and 2) make up for the fact that they don't have ads and many shows are probably made to fit 30 minute time slots with ads, for example.

2009...

2010-01-25T13:20:00.003+11:00

Thought I'd follow B Sharp's lead here, in the spirit of sharing

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Have a Caesarian section; toilet train a toddler; made an old fashioned christmas pudding in a pudding basin.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next this year?
I resolved to get a cleaner (snap, BSharp!), and no - we didn't do it. Something to do with tight-assed-ness or not being able to justify it due to the uncertainty of incomes. My poor, chapped, dish-pan hands are red with anger - I could never be a domestic godess! One day we will do it!!

My New Year's resolutions, would be:
- to be less of a glutton and exercise more (but I always find that I do when I do or when I can, respectively).
- to find more things to keep my son entertained, and get him eating a wider range of healthy foods.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Population explosion!
My sister-in-law had her third (but my first niece), the day before Angel had her little boy.
Two of my Mummy friends - Katie and Anita - had second babies;
Friends Fiona, Sally and Hannah had little boys;
Colleague Yogi had her first;
and many many others seem to have been concieved, due this year!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. A friend is thankfully in remission from breast cancer.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. Sigh! Good for my carbon footprint, though.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
An insulated roof; a career (or the inkling of one).

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
24 July - my daughter's birthday. Because she was born then!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
A year of lots of little things - nothing stands out.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Going on maternity leave without a certain job to return to in 2010. You can only do a few jobs for 2 years or less before you start to wonder if it's "me, not them". But I'm not sure I care that particular job much either, so does that make it a failure?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Only colds, the odd sore back, eczema and athsma.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Hmmm. A few things:
- some nice new shrubs (to go in the mega plant pots we inherited from a former neighbour) and a bench, for our courtyard. It's actually nice to sit out there now!
- ceiling fans for the bedrooms, and a bath for our bathroom.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage/house, grocery shopping, child care fees.

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Meeting our daughter Astrid after carrying her for 9 months.
My son sleeping through the night without a nappy.
Getting my plant-growing mojo back.

14. What song will always remind you of 2009?
"Starman" by Bowie and "Rocket Man" by Elton John. Happy memories of the whole family singing along in the car.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Both.

Happier - because I don't have morning sickness, and puddles to clean up on the floor, and because I seem to have learned something as I am finding motherhood easier this time around.

Sadder about a few things - a friend left for Canada permanently and she left a bigger hole in my life than I'd anticipated. Sad also that my nephew has been diagnosed with Autism, and it means a lot of life-long challenges for my brother's family.

b) thinner or fatter?
Fatter, due to not having morning sickness, and not managing to swim/gym very often.

c) richer or poorer?
About the same. We own slightly more of our house.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
- going on holidays
- reading
- sleeping
- swimming

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
- yelling: "NO!" "Stop (insert mischievous deed)!" "Right! In the naughty corner, and STAY there until I say!!"
- vomiting (see morning sickness comments, above).

18. How will you spend Christmas?
Waves of family visits to us this time.

19. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Yes - this time with my beautiful daughter.

20. What was your favorite TV program?
The Wire (snap again, BSharp!) - we joined the digital age when we got a hand-me-down set top box from Angel and DrJ, and strated watching it from the beginning on ABC2. However, we have just started renting it out on video, because you pick up more of the dialogue when you can put on subtitles!! That Baltimore accent can be challenging!!

21. What was the best book you read?
Probably "Maus" by Art Speigelman. Also enjoyed "The time traveller's wife" and "the lovely bones". None of these were very challenging to read, which reflects my brief windows of opportunity for reading in the past year.

22. What was your favorite film of this year?
No idea. Must have been a DVD I rented, but I can't remember. It certainly wasn't the lastest Harry Potter movie...

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
34. We celebrated my birthday on the Sunday before, due to hubby having a yucky breakfast meeting on the actual day. I remember getting to lie in bed reading unpestered for a few luxurious hours, and possibly even a bath....

24. What kept you sane?
Um... I think I may be less sane...

25. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I need a drop down list for this kind of stuff - no one comes to mind.

26. Who did you miss?
My brother (even though he's been on another island for a long time); I still miss being able to just drop by my parent's place and hang out; Annik who left with her little boy for Canada to be closer to her parents; BSharp (but she's back now!); and it's getting generally harder to meet up with many friends due to our vastly different lifestyles (e.g. us having kids and them not. But that will get easier as the kids get older).

27. Who was the best new person you met?
My neighbour up the corridor - Leili. Fantastic to meet a mother of 3 older children who's been through it all! So nice to have a neighbour who is friendly, and whom you can help and be helped.

Help needed with new-fangled internet anagrams!

2010-01-25T09:23:00.001+11:00

I need some help with the following anagrams. What on earth do the following mean?

- LMAO - little men all overwrought?
- LMFAO - same with "fricken" in there?

I can't, for the life of me, think what they are meant to mean. I DO know that "LOL" means "laugh out loud", but reckon it is way over-used, and could be written just as briefly as "ha ha!" much of the time.

I know admitting this makes me un-hip, but I'm a mother of two so that was going to happen sooner or later anyway. (That, and I was never considered cool anyway, except to my dear best-friend/husband.)

So folks? Any more tech savvy people able to enlighten me? While you're at it, are there any other anagrams I've missed?

Random thoughts...

2010-01-14T20:17:00.000+11:00

Dried up roses in vases...
... in my friend's kitchen. I noticed that since I'd seen her last her belly hadn't grown, and all flicker of humour was absent from her face today. A mutual friend confirmed what I'd feared. She's lost a(nother) baby.

Hubby is acting more chipper as if to compensate, but he briefly ruffles my baby's hair then escapes quickly to the bathroom. I can see that with each miscarriage and year past 40, this all just gets harder.

"My figure is hardly perfect but..."
...is it just me or do a grotesque number of the fellas I went to school with now have beer guts and fat necks? I'm not in contact with these people, but I inadvertently see their photos when I nose around in other people's facebook albums when my friends are tagged there. Serves me right to go snooping.

In other news experts can now confirm that TV watching is bad for you. Not because it gives you square eyes, but because you are sedentary for a long time. Come to think of it, you are too when you sit at the compture for a long time. I'm outa here!

Band on the Rug

2010-01-14T08:53:00.000+11:00

Happy new year, folks!

Our christmas was good this year - we had family come stay with us in waves - C-chan's family for xmas, and my parents for the new year. I'm finding these days when family come to stay, it's a good thing mostly because I get a chance to hand over the kids to someone else and get some things done! C-chan and I enjoyed designing a christmas day menu, shopping for it, & making it, after 3 years in a row of visiting Radelaide for christmas. We got the odd opportunity to go out and see a movie or go out for dinner. Our baby is a pretty good sleeper, and sleeps for at least 6 hours in her first nightly stretch, and is usually down by 7pm, which has meant going out is possible. We had a full house, yet our house guests were pretty good - we had a nice mix of hanging around at home, getting out and about, and my parents went off by themselves once or twice to give us a little bit of space.

The Grandparents of course went gaga over the baby Astro Girl, whilst our little 3 1/2 year old E-chan ensured he had attention by talking non-stop for a few weeks. This almost drove me nuts. I couldn't think clearly, and almost every conversation I tried to have was talked over the top of constantly. At times I just had to tune out so I could follow a thought through to it's logical conclusion, but often if we didn't acknowledge what he said, he would repeat the same thing over and over - broken record style - until he got a response. Nothing would stop him from talking - even though he was getting plenty of attention. Eventually we challenged him to see how long he could stay quiet. He lasted 53 seconds! Finally on New Year's Day, the constant chatter subsided a bit, and things have returned to normal now. He's still on the talkative side, but as he gets more and more articulate, we're starting to have some really fun and funny conversations.

For christmas, E-chan got a little CD player from his grandparents. This has come just at the right time, as despite having music pushed on him all his life particularly by his Dad who is a big music fan, he seems to finally be receptive to listening to pop music and getting to know songs. Strangely (I think) his first preference was for Paul McCartney and Wings. Not the Beatles, but that followed soon after. His first favourite song that he danced to and played over and over was "C Moon" which is hilarious. At night, when we're putting him to bed, we listen to a compilation we've made and he asks us lots of questions:
- Mummy what's this song?
- What's he singing here?
- Is Paul McCartney a Beatle? Didn't he want to be a Beatle any more?

Often he doesn't hear the lyrics properly (hey, who doesn't?), and sometimes we tell him what they are and he sings them properly, but sometimes he stubbornly decides his are better such as:
- Band on the Rug (aka "Band on the Run")
- Mibby om man (? aka "Maybe I'm Amazed")

So next he was made a Robot Music compilation, made of Daft Punk and Kraftwerk. "Daddy, this isn't a robot singing, it's a MAN!"

True...

He doesn't quite get the concept of robot dancing yet, but I will persist...

Useful reference on global temperatures

2009-12-21T20:20:00.003+11:00

See Brave New Climate on 21 November 2009, for a post on global temperatures by James Hansen.

If you ever find yourself at a dinner party with one of those annoying people who are in denial about the whole global warming thing, get their email address and send them this post. It has graphs showing temperatures, and explains where the data is from. It offers insights into the sorts of problems that arise when analysing large data sets, and how mistakes can be made, and exploited by those hoping to cast doubt in people's minds about whether the world is warming and what is causing it, and how they are inundated with "Freedom of Information" requests from people who aim to dispute the conclusions drawn from their data. This research group now publishes their data in a private domain first, so that they can check the data thoroughly before going public on the internet - they learned the hard way that their mistakes are siezed upon.

Calling for your favourite vegetarian recipes

2009-11-26T19:52:00.002+11:00

So after a few years of saying "I'd like to eat more vegetarian food and cut down on my red meat", but not doing much about it, I have finally bitten the bullet and started to seek out some vegetarian meals that are suitable for our family dinners.

I'm ashamed to say that I've known that beef and lamb are the big resource users, when compared with pork, chicken, and other types of protein, but in the end I got a scare this week when I read that more than 2 meals a week of red meat is a contributing factor to bowel cancer. It sunk in that my mother's father has had bowel cancer (and luckily survived it, but still...) and I should probably start making a bit more of an effort to diversify my diet. And there is a higher level of heritability with bowel cancer than with some other cancers.

Anyway - vegetarian meals in our household come with a few challenges:
- my 3-year-old is allergic to egg, sesame and cashew. NO HOMMOUS OR TAHINI!! boo hoo! no cashew stir fries! no scrambled eggs, frittatas or quiches!
- the jury is out as to whether or not we should be feeding him other nuts such as peanuts. Not clear whether or not this will increase his risk of developing other allergies.
- I need to eat tomato and chilli in moderation - too much and I break out in eczema.

I kicked things off tonight with Lentil Shephard's Pie which was delicious, but will take my son a bit of getting used to (they say you have to offer a toddler something as many as 10 times before they will stop turning their nose up at it). But it wasn't exactly quick and easy - more of a special occasion meal. I used french brown lentils, which don't require soaking prior to cooking.

I was just wondering - what are your favourite quick and easy vegetarian meals?

Bamboozled, and the OSM

2009-11-10T15:29:00.005+11:00

I've thought it odd since moving into our current residence - part of a strata complex - how much good stuff just gets thrown out when people move out or put their houses up for sale and cull stuff for the inspection. So far, we have nabbed a few largish canvases (which we'll paint white and use for something else), a perfectly good plant pot, a watering can, and the odd bit of furniture. But this takes the cake. They were was left in our common courtyard, and after a few months of promising to collect these, the owner finally admitted she didn't want them after all, and anyone was welcome to take them.

See picture. The pots alone probably cost around $100 each. We have been thinking for a while that we'd like to get some larger pot plants as a bit of a privacy screen, as you can see right into our neighbours living room when you stand to the far left of this picture. It was a major effort to move them into our courtyard, but I'm glad we did. The bamboo itself needs work. They are overgrown, and need thinning at the roots, which will be a major effort (anyone want to offer their assistance?!). There is a third pot like this which has cracked right down the length of the pot, obviously because the roots have multiplied too many times. But I like them, I like that we finally have some substantial greenery to soften our courtyard, and that I can use some of our waste water a 2nd time rather than have it go down the drain! Let's see if I can get them growing well without killing them off!

The "Oh S**t!" moment
One of Crikey's blogs had a story about the "OSM", where readers were encouraged to write in about the moment when they realised fully that climate change was due to carbon pollution, and that the effects on the climate were going to be significant. Makes interesting reading, although some respondants do go off the point a bit.

Payouts

2009-11-10T15:08:00.005+11:00

And so I find myself out of work again when on maternity leave. This time, things are a bit sweetened by a fairly good severance pay out. Despite being on contracts, and performing various roles, I have clocked up > 5 years service for my employer. This sweetens the news that there isn't enough certain funding to employ me on next year considerably.

I think now is probably a good time to put an effort into finding a job in an area where I have a passion and/or considerable background - I've experimented in working in different fields for a few years for the sake of working part time, and that has given me some new skills and taught me more things about my strengths and weaknesses. BUT at the end of the day, when you care less about the subject matter of your work than other fields or causes, it can be hard to stay motivated when other parts of your job aren't going well.

So I felt flat for about half a day after receiving this news, but moved on quickly. After all, it means my 2nd and last baby can wait a bit longer before starting child care! :-)

Where Sydney's water goes...

2009-11-06T14:31:00.003+11:00

When I have looked closely on the star rating (energy or water) on washing machines, I've been stunned to see that they are based on daily usage on a certain setting. "Well really!" thought I, "who does 7 loads of washing a week?!". I thought that surely these people were obsessive compulsive clean freaks.

And now I am one of them. Not an obsessive compulsive clean freak, but someone who does at least 5 loads of washing a week. Our whole family re-wears clothes until they are dirty/smelly enough to need a wash, we use towels multiple times before washing, we wash sheets once a forthnight (I really can't be bothered doing them weekly...), I use bibs and cloths on my baby and 3 year old to save outfits. But all this washing adds up now that there are 4 of us, even though our machine is a 7.5kg capacity (rather large). Kids have accidents, babies vomit, wipe their grottly little hands and lips on your clothes

I'm trying my hardest to save water in other ways - watering pot plants for e.g. - but not having a garden to throw extra water into means that a lot of waste water sadly goes down the sink. And past attempts to accumulate water in a bucket has just resulted in attracting mozzies...

Whoa! has it been 3 months already?!!

2009-11-04T14:07:00.002+11:00

Hello there!

With the blink of an eye, our darling little baby girl (let's call her Astro Girl, online) is already 3 months old! No longer a newborn, she is transitioning to size 00 clothing, and very aware of her hands all of a sudden. You can hear her sucking away on them in her cot. And she can giggle! It's a beautiful, hearty chuckle, which is interspersed with cute little goo-ing noises.

Parenthood this time around is different, easier. Is it because we are more relaxed, experienced parents? Is it because she is a girl? or because she is a 2nd child, who has to get lugged around everywhere, and hauled in and out of the car/cot/pram mid-sleep to keep up with her big brother's activities? Who knows! Maybe it's all three. But so far, we've been blessed with a baby with a very easygoing nature.

It's rarely hard to get her to sleep, and she prefers to settle on her own much of the time, after a bit of one-on-one cuddle and giggle time, and maybe some singing. She has mostly one overnight feed, sometimes two, and while I do hear her make noises in her sleep, I seem to be able to sleep through the irrelevant noises more easily these days. So we are keeping her in our room until the summer is over, and will think about shifting her in with her brother next year, perhaps when their eating and sleeping habits are a bit more similar.

Any my other baby? The three-year-old, I mean... He's doing well too. Can't stop him talking. Will enthusiastically soak up any new material to talk about, and talk to anyone he has at hand. This morning, he was watching the TV show of the daughter of a certain deceased Australian "icon" (hint: crikey!), and saw a story about deforestation in Indonesia threatening the habitat of orangutans. This was assimilated in his brain, mixed in with something about dinosaurs, and regurgitated back to us in one hilarious story with accompanying hand gestures! (I'm thinking this will make it easier for me to explain to him why he shouldn't waste tissues - thanks Bindi!).

But he's also a wonderful big brother. He helps with the baby whenever I ask him to (ie by talking to her while I get ready for her feed, fetching me things while I'm feeding etc etc). He seems interested in her, and he asks where she is if she's not in the room. She, in return, is fascinated by him, watches him from her capsule in the car, and throws him beaming smiles! How idyllic! I wonder how long this will last!!

So relative domestic bliss for the time being. Just need to work on E-chan's fussy appetite, his pleases and thankyous, and putting his toys away instead of leaving toy cars in the middle of the floor....

5318008

2009-09-05T13:18:00.008+10:00

(Remember that trick you do with the calculator, where you end up with "5318008", and get the person holding the calculator to turn it upside down and read it, and it's a rude word?! This is my oh so clever way of avoiding spam....)

So, 5318008.

This will be my last ever post on the matter, promise! You may remember me mentioning* this last time I had a baby. I had a bit of trouble with breastfeeding. Main trouble was my baby didn't latch on properly for 9 weeks or so, and I couldn't produce enough milk, had to top up with formula, express milk, take pills of various kinds etc etc. There was also some possibility that my 8008's just didn't produce much milk. Something to do with boob shape - the midwives have been a lot more honest with me about it this time (last time they were frustratingly sketchy about it).

Well this time, with all other issues not an issue (ie Astrid feeds well, and like last time, I've done everything possible** to increase my supply), we still find we produce a woeful amount of milk. Plateauing at about 1/2 to 2/3 of what she needs. So it seems that yes, I do have the type of 8008's that don't produce much milk.

Non-mothers out there probably accept this without much question. But I find there are some breastfeeding advocates who don't accept this. They read in baby books sentences like "Only a small proportion of mothers will not have enough milk for their baby..." and for some reason interpret it as if everyone should have enough, when in fact a small proportion don't, and I'm one of them! I tell them I'd have to feed hourly around the clock or more often to satisfy my baby's needs, and maybe still not have enough, and their response is "well I had to feed every 2 hours for a while..." as if having to do that for a few weeks in the late afternoon while establishing supply or during a growth spurt is the same as having a baby that doesn't gain weight and has no energy. Anyway, enough of my whinging. I'm going to talk to the lactation nurse to find out the official medical term for someone like me, and have it ready to throw at the next "breastfeeding nazi" I come across! Also, people accept that some women have "fast flow" of milk without judgement, so why not slow flow too?

So what about the shape of my 8008's? See picture above. I found this courtesy of the Post Secret site, and was excited, as I rarely ever, in this silicone age, see breasts in images that look like mine! But they exist! Mine aren't tatooed, unfortunately, and are a little more rounded as I am breastfeeding. But they are kind of like the image above. I'm at peace with them now - they are how they are, even though poorly equipt with milk ducts. My husband likes them. And they produce roughly half of what my baby needs. Fortunately I also live in a 1st world country with adequate hygiene for formula feeding, formulas are a lot better these days, and I can co-bottle feed, and I don't have to hire a wet-nurse to feed my baby (or much, much worse...). So we're doing the unusual feeding method of breastfeeding at each feed, and topping up with a bottle. I'd love to just breastfeed, but can't. I'm not lazy, and nor am I ignorant about what needs to be done to maximize milk supply. So there!

All is going well! She's lovely, and we love her to bits. Nuff said.

* just a bit.

** believe me

21st century girl

2009-08-18T15:52:00.003+10:00

Here's our little girl, Astrid Kate!

She's doing well, and we are all happy, even E-chan who is coping quite well with having to share our attention.

Some things of note (no time for full elaborations!):
- She is lovely - an absolute joy.
- I'm enjoying having a girl more than I thought I would, although there is little difference between newborn boys and girls (besides their genitalia).
- I'm coping with the lack of sleep better than I thought I would.
- Parenting 2nd time around is a comparative breeze - I'm nowhere near as anxious this time.

Will post again another day - today I suffer mummy-brain... my brain changes topics on me before I can commit them to type, and I just want to veg on the couch.

Now there are 3...

2009-07-21T11:04:00.002+10:00

The baby is only a few days away now.

After months of this being in the background, as something that will happen, we're suddenly almost there. The baby things are more or less ready, and family is set to visit (including "Grandma" - my Mum - arriving today). C-chan and I more or less know what we're in for.

Now as we focus on our son, we realise how much this is going to rock his world. He can't fully comprehend what is ahead of him, as much as we tell him and hope he understands. C-chan and I have a bit of a difficult task trying to keep things normal for him over the coming months while his world changes. Loving grandparents will be here, but that won't be the same as when it was just Mum, Dad and him.

At the same time, he's being an absolute trooper most of the time. He kisses the baby's things, seems to be accepting that some things aren't his but belong to the baby (a difficult concept for him so far). He's being adorable, despite feeling rotten with a cold recently. He walks along, holding my hand, proud of wearing his new dinosaur back pack, and he is my little friend.

Sorry - must be hormones. I keep bursting into tears today. Dropping E-chan off at Kindy seemed to be the hardest thing ever this morning, and he wanted to stay with me rather than play with anyone. But I need to rest, and get over this cold before Friday... somehow...

So much for resting...

2009-07-17T10:54:00.003+10:00

So work wrapped up last week, and it took a grand total of 4 days for E-chan to come down with a cold. He spent Monday home with me with runny nose and goobery eye, Tuesday having a short day at Kindy, and Wednesday at Kindy, and yesterday coughing and spluttering with me at home. Today seems have a return of a snotty nose PLUS a bonus worsening cough.

I seem to have that feeling between my eyes that I'm coming down with it too (or is that from being woken 5 times last night!?).

Getting cabin fever big time - I'd rather be out seeing friends, or sleeping. Yesterday my attempt at a nap resulted in 30 mins lying down, whilst darling son crawled around my bed, showed me how clever he was at naming things on his flashcards, built a pillow fort, and said "mummy open eyes!!" whenever it looked like I might actually doze off!!

I'm beginning to think "thank goodness for Playschool, The Land Before Time, Chuggington, Charlie and Lola, and Skunk Fu" (see ABC Kids website if any of those need interpretation). And at least I'm getting through the many loads of washing I need to do before visitors and new baby descend upon our house!! And a few boxes of eco-nappies (well the best you can do if you're not doing cloth) were delivered this morning, very conveniently at 8am, only a day after I ordered them!

Outside, it is cool and blustery today. They are recommending that pregnant women wear masks when they go out, due to a few Flu hospitalisations that have happened out west of Sydney. But I might need to venture out for our sanity - maybe a bandanna will do? But E-chan's cough is a worry. Trips to inside shopping centres might be all we manage...

Parental leave

2009-07-11T06:48:00.002+10:00

So here we are again, on parental leave. Different this time... last time, it was me enjoying time pretty much entirely to myself, with a few minor things to get done before the baby came, catching up with friends, and waiting... waiting... my mum came to visit, my mum had to leave again as she was rostered on to work she couldn't get out of, but still no baby! Waiting... for a baby that came 10 days "late". And we didn't really have a clue what we were in for.

This time - things are brought forward about 10 days due to the birth being a planned caesarian, I have about 2 weeks between finishing work (last Wed) and the baby (just under 2 weeks away! yeeeheee!), only part of that time will I will have to myself, and there seem to be endless little bits and pieces to do. I'm seriously gonna have to factor in some rest time somehow. But the days when Ethan goes to kindy go ridiculously fast. This time we hope we are ready to metaphorically sit back and enjoy the baby more, to not be so anxious. We know pretty much what is coming.

3 good friends have had babies recently - welcome to the world Patrick, Charley and Jesse. 2 of these are in the same city and I'm hoping I will now have time to visit them and bring their Mums food!

The last few weeks of work were hectic as you'd expect, but I got some good stuff done. This time it seems I have a job to go back to (but it's still reliant on contracts and funding...). At least my employers seem keen, and there might even be someone doing my job in my absence, which a week ago wasn't even discussed, but is kind of a relief.

Arthur? Martha? What? Who? How? WHEN?

2009-06-09T17:03:00.003+10:00

Things are busy here at Chateau Meri. I realised over the weekend that there are only around 6 weeks until the arrival of the baby (by caesarian, I've decided), and had a bit of a melt down. On top of work being busy (don't want to talk about that, though), tomorrow is E-chan's birthday, and it is the first time he really gets what is going on, wants a party, and wanted to invite friends. Cute. It's a busy time of year for birthdays, because most of my Mother's group have birthdays around this time. Makes sense - that's how we met. But means there is something on each weekend.

BUT EVEN MORE STUFF TO DO!

I don't think I'm going to have much time between going on Mat leave and baby, so we have been packing all sorts of things into our weekends and week days. Fixing windows, painting oppressively dark bookshelves white, taking stock of our newborn clothes, bedding, bottles and bunny rugs, putting the rail back on the cot, re-arranging E-chan's room to accomodate his baby sister*, doctor's appointments, keeping toddlers amused, and mediating fights and tantrums caused by not wanting to share toys.

On top of that, a housing development - which is opposed by most residents in the area AND the council - has come back "revised" but not really any better, and residents in our area have had only a few weeks to gather responses (as opposed to those who propose the developments, who do it as a full-time job). We have reason to fear Council and resident objections will be ignored, the development will go ahead, and a precious patch of winter light and natural heating will be lost.

Health-wise we are OK. I had a cold, which has cleared mostly, but at the Dr's I recorded possibly my lowest ever blood pressure reading. Better than having hypertension, yes, but also means I can feel lethargic and dizzy. Baby is bearing down hard on my cervix lately, yet my lungs feel compressed and I feel breathless. Pregnancy is feeling much more undignified this time around. I probably have more on my plate this time, but it's partly age I think. Amazing what a difference it makes being only 3 years older. Greatest of respect to those to manage pregnancy in their 40's.

I am so far behind in writting letters/emails to dear friends, it's not funny. My hair hasn't had a trim for half a year. I better stop listing this stuff or I will have another melt down...

x

* too hard to keep it a secret this time - looks like we're having a girl.

Re-feathering the nest

2009-05-28T15:55:00.003+10:00

Little E-chan has moments when he is keen as mustard to take on the big brother role – this is particularly after he sees other sets of siblings behaving in a positive way. But I suppose we can only expect that it will be normal from now on for him to embrace change in spurts, and downright reject it at other times. Sometimes within 30 minutes of each other. Not completely unlike adults, just different issues, I suppose.

Lately he’s quite interested in the baby in my belly and talking about how it's going to be once his sibling is here. He even hugs and kisses my belly, which is sweet. Sometimes he runs off to kindy all enthusiastic, waving goodbye to us like a little boy, sometimes he almost cries when we leave. Sometimes he runs into our room crying in the middle of the night, scared of something, sometimes he strolls into our room beaming at us as soon as we show signs of being awake in the morning. But overall, he's adjusting well, being adorable, and toilet training is going really well - not sure when he'll be out of night nappies, but for the timebeing, few accidents in the day time.

----

One thing I’m excited about is re-feathering the nest.

I've gone through E-chan’s baby clothes, sorted through them, and started to give away the ones we don’t think we’ll need. Friends are lending us a baby capsule for the car, a carrier and a baby bath. Time to make sure the clothes, toys and other stuff for 0-6 month-olds are all clean and not dusty and ready for use. Time to clear out the spare half of the wardrobe in the kid’s room and make sure there is room for baby stuff to go in! Time to look into BPA-free baby bottles and pumps, and prams/transport arrangements that will work with 2 of them...

Climate fighting chicks

2009-05-20T19:26:00.002+10:00

http://www.1millionwomen.com.au/index.cfm

This campaign challenges 1 million (Australian?) women to reduce their carbon emissions by a tonne.

Also some discussion forums where people share tips on being green. Early days yet, but it looks good. Sign up, and get your employer to sponsor/be a partner!

Minding other people's children - a great test of parenthood

2009-05-08T10:50:00.002+10:00

I've done the odd spot of babysitting, and most of those times, the kids have already been in bed asleep before I arrived.

Today I am venturing into new territory. I have a polite little boy called Louis playing at our place this morning. I know him quite well, and they just live around the corner. But haven't done this before.

Safety isn't really a problem. Our open plan living room means I can see much of what goes on without having to budge. I hope I have the toilet and food and drinks covered, and I'm trying to be interested but not intervene too much. My bossy, talkative little boy keeps trying to tell Louis what to do, but Louis, the relatively quiet 2nd child, puts up with it like a trooper... so far...

Denial all around us...

2009-05-06T17:59:00.004+10:00

I'm trying not to get too depressed about the lack of government action on climate change. I'm trying not to get too worried about how easy it is for climate change denialists to convince most average and many well educated people that climate change has nothing to do with atmospheric carbon. What sort of world am I bringing children into? (and please don't point out overpopulation to me... am aware of this, and at least I am stopping at 2 children - everything going well).

So what am I doing in my own "backyard"? Well we currently have silly European-style (except not double glazed) push-out windows. We've been looking into how we could put insect screens in, so we can leave windows open for ventilation without the bother of mosquitos and flies. The best solution, all things such as blinds considered, was to convert them to wind-out windows. The other benefit of this conversion is we can now lock our windows slightly open, without worrying about certain little people working out how to climb up and falling out. Next step: insect screens some time before September, which is when the nocturnal mozzies started bothering us last year....

Second - am investigating the retrofitting of ceiling insulation on behalf of our unit complex. More than half of the units have uninsulated corrugated iron rooves (the rest are underneath other apartments). They planned to insulate at the time of building 10 years ago, but Shonky Bros builders didn't manage to get around to installing. Or something. People are putting in air conditioning to micromanage their climates, but some of us would rather insulate and use fans and better ventilation. So far, have investgated the Govt rebate scheme, clarified how strata units are eligible, and now I need to get quotes (some rooves are v high up, some ceilings have down lights, no ceilings have internal access...).

Third - I have a tub of borax under my sink. Haven't managed to use it yet, but it's there!!

Fourth - have worked out how to hang my sheets out to dry without having to use the dryer.

So much more I could do...

Who needs toilet training now?

2009-04-30T12:37:00.003+10:00

E-chan had been going a bit backwards with the old toilet training, so we decided to do the one thing we hadn't done successfully yet, and that most toilet training guides recommend: not react to accidents. Sounds easy, but you try and always maintain a cheerful "oopsie!" attitude, even when your toddler is on their 6th pair of pants for the day, and most of the times they'd had accidents, you'd asked them a minute prior if they needed to go, and their answer was a resolute "no!".

But anyway, we did it, and now he's being a big going to the toilet himself champ! Finally. Now we just need to stop the night nappies. All in due time.

Perhaps I should work on me first? On top of the pregnancy-related poor pelvic floor muscle strength issues (ahem), I just had an accident...

Just then, he was on the potty. He wanted to watch playschool while he widdled. Fair enough. So when he finished, I picked up his potty to empty it, and crashed into a chair, spilling its contents on the floor and a nearby chair.

Good one, Mum!

Favourite things...

2009-04-25T08:22:00.003+10:00

Roll over rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens. OK so mine don't rhyme, but here's a current list:
- Walking along a footpath on a sunny, crisp autumn day, holding hands with my nearly three-year old who semi-skips (gallops?) from time to time.
- Singing "I love E-chan!", and getting a "I love mummy!" in response in roughly the same tune.
- Making anzac biscuits with E-chan. I started getting things ready, and he went and grabbed his step stool, put it next to me to stand on and said "I want to help lou!" (he doesn't quite say "y"s yet, and kind of says something that sounds more like an "L"). He helped me to pour cupfuls of dry ingredients into the mixing bowl.
- funny and adorable half-asleep conversations and gestures.
- Going around to friends houses to play. E-chan was invited to play at his friend Louis' house - he goes to the same kindy, and lives just around the corner. They greet each other with a hug, and have a whale of a time! Meanwhile, I scoot around town, getting stuff done for the morning(including picking up E-chan's new bed! finally we can put his mattress up off the floor!).
- Baby-sitting vouchers as birthday presents. This rocked. Thanks J!

Now I just have to spend some time on many emails that seem to be piling up in my inbox, not responded to...

Dancing to own beat

2009-04-16T16:34:00.003+10:00

There's a junkie who lives or hangs out near my work. I often see him on my way home, gesticulating to the sky/talking to God, taking photos of random things with a mobile phone, dancing and skipping along to his own beat. He's often wearing only jeans, which hang dangerously low on his hips, exposing the creases that go diagonally down from the hip to between the legs on skinny men's bodies.

A few weeks ago, I was having a lunch-time catch up with my boss outside the tea room on the 5th floor of my building. I was looking outwards, over her shoulder, where I could see junkie-guy doing the most intense dance ever on the top of a nearby multi-storey car park. You know, a re-enacting Flashdance kind or dance. It was quite distracting.

pregnancy pragmatism

2009-04-10T18:18:00.002+10:00

How's the pregnancy going? Have you been very sick?
Yes - foul morning sickness.
Oh you must be having a girl! I have a feeling you might...
I had dreadful morning sickness last time too. I think I have a 49% chance of having a girl.
---(change of topic)---

So do you find as you approach the latter stages of pregnancy - I hear - that pregnant women start to find they feel happy and are looking forward to the baby once they feel less tired and sick...
Uh, dunno. Suppose it depends on your personal situation. If you have uncertainty with your housing or job or finances, it would make things even more stressful.
---(change of topic)---

Listen to hissy fit over the phone as someone jumps the gun and over-reacts. Can feel eyelids sitting half way down my lids, patiently wait for it to end, and calmly state my point of view.

---

Nice to be feeling rational and confident. A month or two ago I was a mess every time I saw a child get hurt on TV for example.

Consumerism gone bonkers

2009-03-27T17:03:00.002+11:00

I grew up in a different state from my relatives. I got the odd letter from my grandparents and on occasion, from favoured Aunties. Many of Grandma's letters in particular I still have, because they make me laugh and remember what she was like. I think I got a present (nb - singular) for birthdays and Christmas. I don't really remember - it can't have been that important. We agreed amongst family that this would stop when we turned 18. I do remember (most ungratefully) that many of the clothes sent to me from interstate relos were really not my style (e.g. pink or disney), or were ill fitting (even then, I had broad shoulders and muscular legs).

So now I look at what is sent over to my son. He gets:
- multiple birthday presents from each set of grandparents and from each uncle (ie toys plus clothes)
- multiple Christmas presents from each set of grandparents and from each uncle
- and 3-5 parcels per year, for no apparent reason usually with 3-5 things for him

And, in his short life, he has accumulated:
- 50 gazillion matchbox cars, planes, helicopters*
- a sizable train set and more trains and carriages than he can fit on the track
- 5 teddy bears, plus another 10 or so soft toys
- 5-6 tip trucks
- Over 20 DVD's of TV series and kids movies
- Gazillions of baby toys, rattles, things to teethe with etc (which were about as interesting to him as a plastic bottle filled with dried rice or chickpeas).
- 2 and a half shelves of books (some of them my old books from when I was a kid, and includes Harry Potter, which we bought relatively recently, but still...)
- and much much more.

* more than my brother and I had combined by the time we were 8-9 years old.

So here is my conundrum. I'm trying to cut down the stuff we have, and not get things we don't need. I'm ashamed of all the stuff and clutter we have, yet I know most of the stuff we have isn't stuff we've bought. However, it's ungrategul to say you don't want the gifts you are given out of generosity and love. But did my Grandparents love me any less because they gave me less stuff? No, of course not.

One grandparent's view is that if we don't want something, we can get rid of it. Sounds simple, but in reality, it means:
- storing stuff somewhere to take to a charity bin (none very close to my place, and I keep forgetting, therefore have bags of stuff at home to get rid of).
- saving stuff somewhere to give away to closer friends when the time is right (again, I forget about them, and invariably find them a year later)
- throwing out perfectly good stuff in the trash (WASTE WASTE WASTE!)
- Videos - what do you do with them? Charities don't want them, e-bay maybe (I'd rather not go there), or garage sale (don't really have somewhere to do it).

All the above is fine when you have plenty of time and mobility, but we don't at the moment, having both of us working, and a toddler, and me pregnant. I would argue that them compulsively buying stuff makes them feel warm and fuzzy, helps them to express their feelings. At times the presents are thoughtful or something we don't have already, but much of the time, it is just more "stuff".**

I've told my mum many times not to give me clothes, because she never ever buys anything that I like (it was getting ridiculous - I had to say something to her bluntly in my early 20's ...), and when she gives me her old clothes, they are always in colours that she knows I never wear. Yet SHE STILL DOES IT to this day !! Getting hand-me-downs in general is fine, by the way, as I don't feel like resources are being wasted making them. But really - does anyone have the same taste in clothes as their mother? I suppose I should at least be grateful that she does shop in her local St Vinnes sometimes for clothes for E-chan rather than buying brand new. Babies sometimes wear things for 3 months or less before they grow out of them.

Anyway, I've tried dropping hints, discussing gently the possibility that presents are being given to make up for not being able to be living in the same city, and that while we appreciate that sentiment, it's way more than I was given as a kid, and I never felt like I went without. They agree. But as C-chan and I were talking about the other night, a lot of people acknowledge their behaviour, then keep on doing it. I also talk about trying to keep down the amount of "stuff" we have (particularly when we lived in the 2 br unit). But it falls on deaf ears. Except with my Father, who I know has similar feelings to me about buying stuff, but it's not him doing the buying, anyway.

I'm thinking maybe in future visits from the grandparents in particular, I'll get them involved with helping me get rid of all the stuff we don't need... But really, can people not control their urges to shop for new things all the time? Does loving your grandchild justify all the wasted resources? I know I should look more at my own buying behaviour more rather than worrying about theirs, but all this "stuff" is our problem to sort out too...

Watch this if you're planning on having a baby soonish...

2009-03-11T11:12:00.004+11:00

http://news.sbs.com.au/insight/

Insight last night had a discussion about birthing and the system as is is here in Australia. A few women talked about how they were shoe-horned into a certain approach or procedure here in Asutralia, just because of the public/private system dichotomy, or the midwife vs obstetrician choice you may have to make. Well worth a look, and also features Claire Bowditch, who tried to have a home birth twice, but was thwarted, at first by the high cost (insurance), and second by having twins and feeling more comfortable in a hospital on her second delivery.

Also a lot of discussion about elective caesarians vs required ones, and the grey area in between where women are being told they need one, but aren't really sure they want to, and aren't really being given all the info they need to make an informed choice. Many first time mums go with whatever they're told has to happen, while it takes a more assertive mum-to-be to demand more information, question what they have been told, and actually seek second opinions - this is not how it should be.

Also, there isn't much flexibility to change tack part way down the process - ie to start off a preganancy with one approach (ie seeing a midwife) then switching to an Obstetrician down the track if you have a complication arise, whilst keeping your midwife on board. And there is a lack of continued care - ie obstetricians don't really know much about breastfeeding and routine neonatal issues, and you're "handed over" to local area midwives who are fantastic, but have no prior relationship to you.

I've only had 2 appointments with my Obst this pregnancy, and I chose to see an Obstetrician because of the complication I had last time, and the fact that a caesarian was flagged as a good idea by specialists after the injury I suffered giving birth. So far I haven't been given a lot of information about the complications around caesars, and much of what I know is from having talked to others who have had one, and reading Mermaidgrrrls blog.

So far our strategy is to pencil in a caesar, but have a scan at 36 weeks, see how the baby is going for size, and make a decision then. But I'm finding the idea of delivering vaginally is scarier for me still at the moment. I'm not sure if there is data on pelvis size to baby head size ratios and what the the likelihood is of another nerve injury, and there are other matters - every baby is different, mother's pelvises are more elastic second time around, girls tend to be smaller than boys, and second babies tend to be bigger etc.

But the risk to me of suffering a permanent leg injury that affects my ability to walk is getting more stressful rather than less stressful with time. And I haven't even begun to discuss the issues around the scarring I have from my last delivery either - info on this is non-existant in birthing books. I know caesars bring many complications, but perhaps it is the better option for me. After all, it will be a decision that could affect the rest of my life.... but it's not something I really want either - it's just the best option for me, I think.

Home and sick. Siiiiiiick....

2009-03-11T10:19:00.002+11:00

I was surprised that we managed to go back to child care this year and avoid getting colds etc, saw may kids with green goozies hanging down from their nostrils, and thought "it's only a matter of time....". But alas, E-chan has avoided getting sick this year, and it's me that's somehow managed to come down with something. It's no surprise, as there is lots going on - our to-do list is never-ending it seems, and is making weekends busy.

We've had to buy a new fridge, because our old one is alternating between freezing things, and not being warm enough (despite the settings not being changed), is just about too small (and will certainly be come the end of July). Our poor little 10-year old fridge served us well through our DINKy days, moving states and moving house many times, but it's now time to upscale to the family sized version. I hope our new one lasts us much longer. Am looking forward to having more fridge space, and being able to freeze more leftovers, as our freezer didn't have much room for that once all the frozen peas etc took up their place, and I was beginning to be bugged by how much food was going off before we used it. What a waste! But the logistics of getting a new fridge - working out what has to be thrown out, what can survive a few hours unrefridgerated, what must stay frozen, and what will last in an esky bag with ice for a bit. Our neighbours have offered to help with some fridge space, which is handy.*

Also, I'm looking into buying us all non-plastic drink bottles (such as the stainless steel ones made by Ecotank, Earthlust, or Kleen Kanteen - they're quite hard to get, and you have to order them over the internet). I sometimes buy water in a plastic bottle, on the occasions when I forget to take my own drink and there is no water fountain, and I really don't like soft drinks, so even though I know I'm being ripped off, I'd rather drink water and pay for it. I reuse the bottle many times, but am beginning to be (more) concerned about plastics, the resource intensity of their production, their impact on the environment, and possible toxins. I also like a bottle by my bedside, so there are no annoying 3am spillages as I fumble around in the dark to have a drink of water. While I'm at it, I'm looking into baby bottles for baby #2 that are BPA-free. 6 fairly major brands have just announced they will release a BPA-free baby bottle range this year in the US (and at least one of them will release that range here too - hopefully in time for our bub) - yah to the consumer lobbyists who campaigned so long for this.

We had our 19-week ultrasound yesterday. Baby is displaying all the normal characteristics, with 1o digits on its hands and feet, normal size, normal heart etc, which is great news. Time soon to start going through all the teeny, tiny baby clothes and give away the ones we know we won't use this time around. Soon E-chan's big boy bed will arrive - he's currently on a single mattress on the floor, and we are gradually accumulating single bedlinen for him. The cot is now empty for next baby, and we're trying to sort out their room and the best configuration for the furniture.

On top of this, my allergies have returned, as I haven't been getting my desensitising shots for a few months, and my system needs another few years of the injections for the dust and pollen allergies to stop bothering me permanently. It seems the warm, humid weather we're having is dust-mite heaven. Am having to buy new dust covers for pillows and mattresses (all the old ones had worn out), and vacuum the floor and hot wash all the bedding ideally every week (more like 1.5 to 2 weeks) to kill off all the dust mites. It's good to realise my hayfever and asthma symptoms had amost gone while I was being desensitised, and once I have finished breastfeeding, I'll start on the shots again - definitely worthwhile not to be troubled with frequent runny noses and wheezes. The eczema, while also caused by food intolerances and detergent exposure, was also a bit milder while I had the shots.

So, going to have a rest now, and vege out....

*I'm sorry that this post is a bit of an "updating all my friends" kind of post. Feel free to tune out if you're bored by it...

babe-alert

2009-03-03T18:36:00.005+11:00

I'm currently notching up acquaintances of the newborn variety – they are all special of course, and I would have mentioned some of these earlier had I not been a bit flustered of late!

1) My new niece – Lena-chan, who was born in mid-January. First girl of the family, and absolutely lovely! I’d love to see and cuddle her, but will have to be content with images over the computer until either I can get my family to Japan or my brother can get his (now with 3 kids – argh!) here. Her big brother is being good and responsible, her middle brother doesn’t quite understand…
2) Young Isaac, dear first born of friends Angel and Dr J, who was born the next day. He is thriving and doing all the sorts of things newborns are supposed to do, and even went to sleep for a few hours when we were visiting on Saturday night so Mum and Dad could relax and enjoy dinner! Good boy!
3) Twins next door! My neighbour finally had her twin boys this morning, after a long gestation as far as twins are concerned (38 weeks!). Poor neighbours have been freaking out at the thought of having two of them – hope they manage to work out some sort of routine soon.

----------

We also have had a family with 3 kids recently move in over the corridor. They’re an academic family, accustomed to moving cities, and the Mum is a pragmatic type who gets to know her neighbours quickly so she has someone to ask about where to go for shopping, doctors etc etc. We also had a bizarre shared phone line (telco’s stuff up…) for a few days, and had to try to sort that out, which was weird, but another storey entirely. Only problem is they all have hard-to-pronounce Hebrew names. I’ve committed the parent’s names to memory, though.

Last night, their middle child (roughly 7 years old?) knocked on the door:

Child: Hello! Mom wants to know if we could borrow your can opener. We have one but it doesn’t work.
Me: Sure

I lent them the can opener and sent her on her way. 10 minutes later, knock on the door again:

Child: Hi. Mom wants me to say “thanks very much”
Me: Not a problem – tell her it’s fine!

This is the first time anyone has ever knocked on our door and asked to borrow anything, and it’s kind of nice, actually. I’ve always thought people are over-cautious about intruding on privacy in inner-city areas (especially where renters move in and out of high density areas all the time). Sure you run the risk of interrupting something. But when I knock on my neighbours door, they always invite me in it seems – you wouldn’t do that if you are too busy… Our neighbours who just had twins were so worried about the noise their babies will make. I told them not to be silly – newborns are quiet compared to toddlers (I reckon), and we can’t hear through the walls anyway. I’d rather hear noise from babies or kids, than party music past 11pm, loud television noise, or power tools early or late in the day…

For giggles...

2009-03-03T18:24:00.002+11:00

Check out this link at the onion: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of

Made me giggle. I found this via Lavartus Prodeo.

What's more important? Global meltdowns of the financial or ice-shelf kind?

2009-02-27T16:56:00.002+11:00

I seem to be becoming a regular reader of Crikey's Rooted Blog, which has an almost daily update on selected environmental issues of all kinds.

This latest post, by Greenpeace's John Hepburn expresses better than I could the frustration I feel about politicians who are dilly-dallying about whether or not to introduce some sort of carbon reduction scheme now or delay it yet again:
http://blogs.crikey.com.au/rooted/2009/02/27/financially-panicked-morally-bankrupt/

Also, can someone remind me what we actually have to do now Australia has signed the Kyoto Protocol?

What other parents don't tell you...

2009-02-25T11:04:00.003+11:00

So back to toilet training. We had over three weeks of getting somewhere, going backwards and not ever seeming to make that full step into going to the potty on our own. While 3 weeks isn't really that long in the big scheme of things, we could see our little boy could technically go to the toilet fine (with a bit of help getting pants back on and things like that), he would never initiate it himself. Also, whenever he was asked if he needed to go, the answer was always "no", which it became obvious wasn't always the truth.

Result: we had to watch him like a hawk for signs that he was about to go, then somehow entice or convince him to go on the potty. It started to become a battle. It was nervewracking when we went out (e.g. to obstetrician), not knowing if he would pee on the carpet. Going back to nappies (except at night time) seemed like a backward step.

We knew what the problem was - he lacked motivation to do this of his own accord. He'd rather sit in a puddle and keep doing what he was doing than stop and go to the loo for a bit. We'd tried everything we could to encourage him - high five, praise, hugs, sticker charts, pointing out the habits of slighly older, toilet trained kids.... then the only advice we could get was "keep going with it, it will click", or "stop and try again in a few weeks". None of these felt like the right thing to do for us.

So we changed tack. After a visit to a friend's house where he had 3 accidents within 2 hours (despite having been asked moments before if he needed to go the toilet), I told him he couldn't visit his friends again until he stopped weeing on the floor and started using the potty properly. This sunk in pretty quick, and we saw some response. On Sunday, C-chan offered him a marshmallow if he used the potty!

"Oh dear!", we thought! "What are we doing?" What ideas are we instilling in him? BUT IT WORKED! He's taking himself off to the potty now where he wasn't before, and accidents have reduced to one a day at the most!! We don't give him sweets often, and we don't give him a marshmallow at breakfast or after dinner. We'll keep that up with the other strategies above, and gradually wean out the bribery as using the potty becomes commonplace. There are times already (just 4 days later) where he goes to the potty but doesn't ask for a marshmallow either.

So anyway, we felt a bit guilty for resorting to bribery, but last night I was talking to one of E-chan's friends mum. I told her about our strategy. "Oh, we used the marshmallow also! It was the only thing that worked in the end!". I had talked to her before about toilet training, and she never mentioned this! She must have felt guilty too! Then 2 more mums 'fessed up to using bribery in the end (smarties or whatever) to get their kids motivated to go to the toilet on their own. "It's the only way!" they all say - NOW.

Reunions. Hmmm

2009-02-25T10:37:00.002+11:00

So my position on high school reunions has pretty much been that of disinterest. I had a disastrous last year of high school socially in which I grew apart from just about all my friends (it was complex), couldn't found a crowd I fitted in, and had my sights fixed on my next year at Uni, where in enjoyed the idea of redefining myself AND meeting people who gave a shit about the same sort of stuff as me (fortunately, I met some lovely friends, amongst others not in the bloggosphere right at the beginning of Uni). An that is how my opinion stayed. My school had a 10-year reunion, and I wasn't really interested enough to make a special trip back to 'Delaide for it, so I sent my apologies and well wishings.

Then a friend sent me one of those Schmacebook invitations, and you kind of have to join up to see what it is. Then you see half your friends and family are already on Schmacebook. Then it kind of becomes a handy tool for keeping in touch with far flung friends and relatives. Then you find yourself joining a school based group in the off chance you might come across people you are interested in getting in touch with. Result (a) lots of annoying friend requests from people you later realise don't really want daily updates from but can't de-friend them without feeling bad (b) developing skills in politely messaging people back expressing vague interest in their well being, but not befriending them, and (c) the occasional instance where you are thrilled to be back in touch with an old school chum - ratbags you never really intended to lose touch with but somehow did.

Some in my school year are trying to arrange a spontaneous reunion because they decided they can't wait until the 20-year one in a few years time (eek), and have started an event site for it. Someone else posted photos from the 10 year reunion on it. So weird! Some people stay exactly the same in appearance, some change dramatically, some gain weight, some lose weight. There are people in those photos I haven't thought about since I left school. I can now sort of see the value in turning up for a night, having a few minutes of conversation with some people I remember fondly, then going back to my life. I like the idea of finding out that once awkward people are now comfortable with themselves, and that some people have been quietly doing amazing things. Kind of like watching the next installment of the 7-Up series of doco films.

But I am perfectly content to wait for the 20-year reunion for this, if I can make it.

Before and after bath shots

2009-02-12T07:20:00.007+11:00

This is a real estate agent shot of our main bathroom, until a week or so ago. That - on the floor, behind the sink - is *supposed* to be a bath. A "Roman Bath", as if it wasn't just a tiled rectangular shower floor, and romans dressed in togas could actually sit around it and discuss politics. A glass screen blocks off the shower partition so that if you were prepared to use 5 million L of water, you could half fill it up, but not recline comfortably at all. These roman baths are the running joke of all the apartment owners in our block. We've been bathing our son in a blue plastic crate since we moved in.

This is our shiney new bath, baby! The blue tiles are no longer available, so we went with a retro multicoloured tile with similar colours to surround the bath. Last night, I gave it a wash down, and E-chan had his first bath in it. So, so much better than the blue crate, which he had refused to even sit in lately. And tonight's the night... I will have a bath of my own. [Note also plenty of ledge space for candles, books etc to perch on.]

In case you were left with any doubt...

2009-02-12T06:52:00.002+11:00

...that southern Australia is warming, the BOM's report on the recent heatwave is summarised and paraphrased here. Yikes!

The Brave New Climate blog is written by Prof Barry Brook - Director of Climate Science at The Environment Institute, University of Adelaide.

Grotsky

2009-02-10T18:11:00.001+11:00

I have started spilling food down my top again – I seem to remember having the same problem last time I was pregnant. However, my 15-week bump is hardly jutting out enough to excuse this yet.

Inferno

2009-02-10T17:34:00.003+11:00

Along with everyone else, I have been horrified whilst following TV, internet and radio coverage of Victoria’s bushfires.

I was further horrified with people* writing drivel like this: “Our national character will emerge stronger from this disaster…” . I can’t really stand breakfast TV, but I did notice they sent the “big guns” (Kochie and Mel) down from Sydney to the Bushfire (as if Melbourne doesn’t have its own TV “personalities” to whom they could cross to, live…) Just like the media circus that went down to the sleepy Tasmanian town of Beaconsfield after the last National disaster we had. I don’t want to be insensitive so soon, but the only reason most of us will remember the date is that each year, the so called news networks will pull it up from their databases of anniversaries, and remind us that it happened a year, five, ten years ago, and they can pull up archive footage and use up a minute of the news bulletin instead of paying journalists to go out there and report on real news.

*Who are they?!! No explanation who this opinion piece was written by!

I am fortunate to have no loved ones or friends (that I know of) who are affected by these fires. I’ve met the odd person over the years who had properties burnt in SA’s Ash Wednesday fires.

But this whole experience has been bringing back memories for my Mother, who was just starting her nursing training when Hobart had devastating fires in 1967. She remembers the injuries and burns of the patients admitted to hospital, and parts of the city grinding to a halt… power cuts… the damaged electric tram lines never to run again and instead replaced by buses. My Nanna’s sister lived on the city’s outskirts on an orchard. At one stage she was literally running away from a fire with 2 little ones in tow, and her family lost their house and everything in it and their orchard. It took 3 days before my Nanna and Poppa could get down there to see if they were alive. They lived in a packing shed for 18 months while their town rebuilt. It took Mt Wellington a long time to look post-card pretty again.

Toilet training

2009-02-09T13:14:00.002+11:00

E-chan started toilet training on Thursday. It was a hot day, he spent a few hours with no clothes on in the morning, and I thought, well, why not give it a go? I had 4 days in a row with him, and I'm feeling a lot more energetic and prepared to go 'round mopping up messes.

So first day we went 5 hours, the second a bit longer, the third longer still, and yesterday, from dusk until dawn PLUS a visit to the pool and shopping centre sans nappy. He's doing well. He seems to have gotten a grasp for knowing when he needs to do #2's, and by yesterday, we seemed to be able to hold on for around a minute once he told us he needed to do wees. So proud of him! He's off to kindy today - hope it goes as well there, but he'll have less one-on-one attention...

One of the best things is our nappy usage has dropped substantially to one a day. This feels good. Another thing of note is all the little boy undies on the clothes line!! And his clothes-on shape has transitioned from toddler with extra nappy padding around the middle, to little boy!

And my final point on this post is that toilet training is not just about the kid learning - it's training us parents. You have to listen to your child carefully. After 4 days, experience says that if we ask E-chan if he needs to go, and he says "no", he means it (wasn't always the case with nappies for some reason - perhaps he didn't want to have to stop what he was going and go upstairs to have a nappy change...?). Also, if you're busy and you hear "oops" or "I do wee wee" (meant as "I'm about to do wee"), you have to have everything at hand and be ready to drop everything and go help. And going out... you need to consider toilet facilities, whether or not to take a potty, and if you do.... forward planning. It's a bit like having a newborn again!

Themes for the week

2009-02-05T09:38:00.004+11:00

Mozzies!
Yargh! I’ve had enough of them interrupting my sleep! It’s bad enough that it’s hot, and that my bladder capacity is fast shrinking, requiring me to get up at least once a night!

Financial crises.
I’m too upper middle class to be affected by this yet. But I do hear 2nd hand accounts of layoffs. So at this stage the saturated media coverage of financial crises is a bit tiring. All the signs are there that things are going to get worse for us affluent westies, but the symptoms haven’t really kicked in. But this is bigger than just coping with different economic times – this goes hand in hand with all of us learning to be more resourceful, managing with less, leaving a smaller footprint, and we should be doing this anyway.
However, I know a recession doesn’t bite everyone a little bit – a chunk of the population will be just fine, a majority of the population will cut back on luxuries or hold off on major expenses, and a chunk of the population will sink into or remain in poverty. See Beesharp's latest post for more discussion on this and associated comments...

Kids.
I live for when it’s time to go pick up my little boy at the end of work days. He’s loving Kindy this year, and has moved up a year from the nursery to “K1”, where he gets a smaller group with other kids between 2-3, but also the chance to mix with older kids during unstructured play times. I have to say I’m loving our child care centre too – it seems to be the right place for my child at the right time, and all the staff seem really good, and there are parents there I want to make friends with. I have no complaints, whereas I do hear them from some parents with kids at other centres.

Last week I went to pick up E-chan, and we sat down as he finished his afternoon tea and a drink of water. Another slightly older kid sat next to us, and I noticed he had a cool UFO kiddy watch on:

Me: That’s a nice watch!
Kid: Yeah – my mum gave it to me.
Me: can you tell the time on it?
Kid: Yes
Me: ! [momentarily impressed]
Kid: When the big hand gets to here [points at the “10”], it means it’s half past the hour, and this here [points to the “11”] is the equals sign.
Me: Oh really?!
Kid: Mmmmm.

My hit single...
Last night I dreamed up a song. In my dream, it was a hit 70's Cher song (!), but when I woke up this morning, I realised the song isn't one I've actually heard before (I think), and I just may have composed a song in my sleep. This puts me up there with Paul McCartney and others who dreamed up hit singles. Except mine isn't a hit single. And all I remembered when I woke up was 2 lines of it, and the words didn't make sense. And now I've forgotten it entirely....

Bun in the oven
Am now beginning to get moments when I don’t feel sick/full-bellied/tired/full-bladdered, and I momentarily forget I’m pregnant. Then – “that’s right, there’s another baby in my belly!”. It’s a nice thing to remember. I’m beginning to show, but I don’t think you can see it unless you know what you’re looking for, and I’m wearing a tight top.

Phunny!

2009-02-01T08:01:00.002+11:00

Thought this link deserved a post of it's own!

Thanks Alison - that made me laugh!

: )

Doing it all again

2009-01-30T15:52:00.003+11:00

So as I hinted in my last post, we’re having another baby. Most of my friends have been guessing due to odd behaviours such as not swimming laps, having blood tests, cutting back on coffee and cutting out alcohol, soft cheeses, throwing up in car on way from picking them up from airport without an alcohol fuelled night beforehand, eating monstrous amounts, and random questions about whether or not they’d recommend their obstetricians. Or I’ve gradually told other friends because it felt odd not to given things we were talking about, and because they understand that you don’t blab about these things until the end of the first trimester public announcement, because of the higher risk of miscarriage in those first 3 months of pregnancy (speaking of which, we did have a scare just before Christmas, but all is OK, and baby is now 13.5 weeks old).

Now all I have to do is tell work. That’s another topic for another day.

We’re looking forward to having another baby. We love our little boy, and wouldn’t swap him for anything. He is a source of so much more happiness than we could ever have imagined. Sure the first 3 or so years of a child’s life is challenging, until you have toilet training and communication going well. But the journey is lifelong, and we love it so far.

So here are some of the things that have been occupying my mind regarding the birth and soon after:

- The delivery. We have to have a c-section this time. This is due to my injured nerve in my leg last time (see posts around July 2006 - probably a bit melodramatic, I daren't go back there), which we can’t rule out happening again, and could cripple me. You can’t really tell whether bub #2’s head will do it to me again. Depends on gestation time, gender, size, how the delivery goes, genetics (will they inherit their grandfathers unusually large head size?). The worry of not being able to walk properly again would do my head in. On top of that I had another injury during birth that I prefer not to discuss in polite circles. But it hurt, still does sometimes.

- Recovery from major abdominal surgery. Sewing up of 7 layers of flesh including abdominal muscles. Eeek. Gross. And EEEK! Not being able to walk at first, pain, not being able to lift, reach up, drive for 2-6 weeks. I need to talk to the few people I know who have had a Caesars and hear how they managed, where they needed help. But millions of women do it every year, so it must be manageable. I have 6 months to get used to the idea...

- On the upside, having a pretty good idea when baby will be born and how, and being able to plan family visits around then and the looking after of E-chan. And given experience from last time, perhaps coming up with some ground rules with house guests, or being ahead of the game enough so that we can agree on tasks so that our personal space isn’t invaded too far. Parents – mothers in particular – take liberties as house guests that others wouldn’t dare. All with helpful intentions, but often without just checking with you first.

- Breastfeeding. Where do I start? Didn’t go well last time, due to what I think was 4 major factors – 1) E-chan had difficulty sucking properly for the first 9 weeks of his life, 2) my body was in shock due to injuries mentioned above, 3) stress from not being able to feed ("I’m a failure, Ow that hurts, I’m so tired from feeds taking an hour or more when you add in expressing milk and having to supplement with a bottle" etc), 4) supply issues. Despite that I managed to partially breastfeed for 8 months. I know breast milk is best, and am going to put as much effort as I can into being able to breastfeed my 2nd child as I did my first. I personally can’t do it any differently. I can only hope this one is able to attach a lot quicker, I am a lot more relaxed about it this time, and I manage to get through the challenges that having a c-section imposes on feeding establishment.

4) is the big unknown – my physiological capacity to produce breast milk. I suspected last time that in the range of physiological ability to produce breast milk, I was at the lower end of the scale. I tried everything to increase supply, but couldn’t really produce enough. It’s hard when you leave hospital co-formula feeding to get to a stage where you are producing everything your child needs yourself. But it was the right thing to do at the time, I have no doubt about that. We got off to a bad start, we all did the best we could, but throw attachment issues into the mix, and it doesn’t give you much of a chance. So assuming we get off to a better start next time, I should be able to see what my full potential is. It will be interesting. If I could do away with needing bottles at just about every feed, it would be lovely. If I can do away with bottles almost entirely, I’ll be ecstatic!

And I don’t mind if we have a boy or a girl. Either would be nice! We may find out beforehand so we can plan the name, but we won’t announce it to anyone outside family until the birth.

Why is science important?

2009-01-29T09:15:00.002+11:00

Came across this site debating why science is important. Ever been asked by a child, teenager, anyone really, about why anyone should bother with studying science, why science should be funded etc? You may find your answer here...

I quite like this answer...

adjustments, adjustments

2009-01-29T08:52:00.003+11:00

I do hear of children who go to bed at a set time every night, without fuss, and who have a day nap every day, without argument. Not our little boy. Our little boy is a routine smasher. As soon as you feel like you’re getting into a routine of some kind, he will start struggling against it, and will enforce a change. We think he thinks too much. It runs in the family. Sometimes something else will break a routine – a visiting relative, a trip interstate, moving house, getting sick - which happens often and disrupts sleep patterns big time. But much of the time, he just works out what is going on with his bedtime routine, decides to throw a new thing into the mix to keep us on our toes, and we need to work out how to reign him in so we can get him to bed at a reasonable hour and have some time to ourselves to discuss, well, adult things.

For example: we read to him every evening before he gets into bed, and have done so since he was tiny. It’s time alone with him, time to look at pictures, learn, cuddle, and hear stories. For a long time we’d read 3 books, then put him to bed. Then at some time he started to demand “more?”. Then before you know it, he has tantrums when you stop reading! Tired at the end of our days too, it can take us a few nights to come up with the right counter argument.

Multiply the above negotiation by 10 as you add in all the little necessary steps that have to happen before going to bed. On a bad night, every one of these steps can require negotiation:
1) going upstairs
2) washing/bathing
3) nudie streaking from the bathroom to the bedroom (lately has included bonus shrieking – not very conducive to toning things down for bed time)
4) Nappy change and PJ’s
5) Getting room set up for sleep (soft lighting, toys away, comfort items such as teddy and cup of water at hand)
6) Choosing a book or 3
7) Reading books
8) Hopping into bed (and staying there)
9) Low-key end of day conversations, singing lullabyes, cuddles
10) Going to sleep

So at any given stage (or all of the above stages), our little boy can throw something new into the mix, refusing to do something, or insisting on something new. I hear you all saying “so don’t put up with nonsense – what’s wrong with you?”. Well to that I say we are no-nonsense parents, but it ain’t that easy. Toddlers get upset when they can't make themselves understood, and when they feel they haven't been getting their way all day which is unavoidable some days.

It’s down to how you say “no”. If you say "no" the wrong way, it leads to whole new conversations, or worse – tantrums. And at the end of a long day, your brain isn’t always at its most inventive. Once I got cross with him and told him in a very firm voice that “Be quiet and go to bed NOW, you are making me very cross!”. And it worked once, but never again. It only seems that on those odd days when I feel well fed and rested at the end of a day, I respond to these challenges thrown at me in a way I’m proud of, that leaves me beaming with parental wisdom. I often think it would all be easier if my little boy would just have a day nap and give us a moment to ourselves to recharge. But it’s been over 6 months since that has happened reliably - time to give up that dream.

I’ve had “morning” sickness* for the last month and a half, which hasn’t made it easier. Add to the equation me feeling pathetic, tired, on the verge of throwing up, or actually throwing up, as many as 4 times in a day. Hardly equates to an influx of innovative parenting ideas. Blargh. Literally. But the nausea is easing off, and is now a dry retch before breakfast every 2nd or 3rd day.

Saying all that – we’re getting there, and things are getting easier lately. And happy toddler = happy parent = happier toddler, and so on, in one massive feedback loop mechanism. I feel infinitely better equipped to deal with all this 2nd time around. Except there will be two of them. But by the time #2 hits toddlerhood, E-chan will be a big, responsible 5-year-old, so the collective wisdom of my parents and friends with older kids tells me. I can’t help but think it will be easier....

* by the way, we’re pregnant again!

Holiday Mode

2008-12-31T17:44:00.001+11:00

Hope you are all having happy holidays!

Here's a vintage post (circa 2005) for some holiday reading.

I'm gonna lie down and rest...

Meri christmas!

2008-12-24T08:06:00.002+11:00

Dear lovely readers (all 4 of you)!

We'll, we're in a flurry of packing - we decided to fly to be with family (with carbon offset) quite recently. We'll be chasing santa on his present run on an early flight tomorrow morning (yes - that's xmas day), and having a brief trip to our home town. We opened some of our presents to each other today, so we don't have to cart them with us, so the excitement of it all is building. E-chan is getting old enough (2 1/2) to understand all the fuss of christmas this year!!

We've had what seems to have been a tiring year, and we're actually looking forward to just putting our feet up and not doing much!! I've been a bit sick recently, C-chan has had some hours from hell at work (the sort of thing you hear about lawyers doing - 2 am finishes etc), and we've all run out of puff!

Time to rejuvenate the batteries, and come back to focus on installing ceiling fans and fly screens early in the new year. Hope you all have lovely christmases, and I look forward to reading your blogs next year!!

xx

Lighters out! (the album that taste forgot)

2008-11-22T08:06:00.003+11:00

Here's a compilation we put together to amuse ourselves for a long car trip. A compulsion to air-drum is almost a pre-requisite for this list. Unfortunately, you end up skipping through most of the tracks after the first chorus. Still amusing, though. Here goes:

1) Livin' on a Prayer / Bon Jovi (Karaoke favourite of the 90's)
2) I'm not in love / 10cc (Just a silly phase i'm going through)
3) I want it that way / Backstreet Boys (perplexing - which way exactly?)
4) Total eclipse of the heart / Bonnie Tyler (nothing I can say...)
5) More than a feeling / Boston (power ballad meets catchy, toe tappin' riff, but you wish it didn't...)
6) I've never been to me / Charlene (she's been to paradise, but she's never been to songwriting school... *the* worst song of all time)
7) All by myself / Jamie O'Neil (immortalised by the opening air guitar and drums sequence at the start of the first Bridget Jones movie)
8) Stonehenge / Spinal Tap (deliberatly silly, unlike the others in this list, but still funny)
9) I want to know what love is / Foreigner (Can't stop now, I've travelled so far..... I wanna know what love is.... I *know* you can show me....)
10) I should have known better / Jim Diamond (I remember this being number one and being shown at the end of Countdown for many weeks.... aay ay ay aay aay, ay ay ay ay ay I looooove yooooooou....)
11) If you like Pina Coladas / Rupert Holmes (cheesey, dodgey, and so wrong it's almost right. Thank god you don't hear this playing in the supermarkets any more)
12) Paradise by the dashboard lights / Meatloaf (I can't stand Meatloaf, but by all accounts, this is a bit of a teenage boy all time favourite)
13) Africa / Toto (they've bless the rains down for years, but to no effect except for tears of boredom)

Coming soon - song list with blatant use of children's choirs

Kind... what?!

2008-11-22T06:29:00.002+11:00

Ever noticed how the "t" and the "g" keys are right next to each other on the keyboard?
Me neither. That was, until at a busy patch at work recently, involving lots of letters and emails where I DEFINITELY would not want to offend anyone, I kept noticing that I was accidentally typing "Kind retards," at the end of each email. Luckily I would notice and correct my mistake before sending, but I dreaded the time when I would forget to do this.

Nice little exhibition

2008-11-09T09:46:00.003+11:00

We went to a print exhibition yesterday - I can thoroughly recommend it for a few reasons: one of my neighbours is exhibiting there; there are some really good, locally produced prints - we actually bought one by Patricia Mado; and the exhibition is downstairs at an Antique store. After viewing the exhibit, we wandered around the antique store, and yes - most of what I'd really like is way out of my price range - but it's inspiring none the less. Ms J and I spent a fair bit of time admiring bakelite jewellry afterwards...
It goes until early December, and there is a bus stop nearby on Sydneys new #10 metrobus!

Secret truth: toddlers are cool!

2008-11-06T08:22:00.003+11:00

I think I have to say that the age my son is currently (nearly 2 ½) has to be my favourite age so far.

Sure, toddlers have tantrums, whine, push boundaries, and dart off unexpectedly causing your heart to rise up into your throat as you take off after them, hoping you can reach them before they throw themselves in the path of danger (ie an oncoming car, something to slip or trip on, another kid who isn’t looking where they are going… etc etc). Toddlers break their routines regularly and encroach into your evening quiet time by trying to stay up late. Sometimes it’s really hard to explain things to them – the gulf between your understanding of say, basic immunology, and the language you can use to explain it to them is massive, as I found the other day when I had to take Ethan away from where he wanted to play because a child nearby had just been diagnosed with a really infectious virus that I could do without him getting quite frankly after the run of illnesses we seem to have had this year.

But there are lots of up sides to toddlers:
- They want to stay up late to hang out with you!
- They have cute little conversations now – recapping the days events with as many words as they can, plus gestures, pausing from time to time to think about how to say what they want to say
- They can use simple sentences to tell you things or ask for things
- When you are happy, they are usually happy too, making you even happier!
- They start to choose what they want to wear
- They walk well, so you don’t have to carry them often or use the pram (in fact, with my son it's mostly running or standing still)
- They have little friends, and are starting to play cooperatively. Play usually involves running around copying each other and giggling.
- They can remember the names of family and friends you see or talk to often
- They can get out of bed themselves, and come in and visit you in the morning
- They ask you to kiss their sore finger/leg/head better! And once you've done this, they ARE better!!

Word for the day

2008-10-30T15:56:00.002+11:00

Chick-mate: n. female friend.
As in: "My chick-mate has a little boy around his age".

A guy came to fix our windows today - nice bloke, friendly but not too nosey as some tradies can be, and he arrived on time and worked efficiently. And I learned a new word from him...

Introvert's Family Tree

2008-10-24T19:46:00.004+11:00

Sub prime

2008-10-11T13:35:00.002+11:00

This news clip was a bit shocking - I thought it was a joke my brother sent me at first, but it's for real.

I can't get over the image of a large house packed with goods, furniture, toys, but the family being bankrupt. Can people not go without these days? Can they not save up until they can afford something, the old fashioned way? (clearly not - don't bother answering).

Sad, though, innit?

Must have needed that

2008-10-11T11:10:00.003+11:00

Last night I put E-chan to sleep and emerged from his room at 8pm, with REALLY tired eyes. I thought "I'll just lie down for a bit and rest them", slipped into something more comfortable, and lay down on my bed.

Next thing I knew it was after 9pm, my Mr was in the room asking what I'd been doing (poor thing was downstairs waiting for me complete with a glass of wine, as we'd literally seen each other for a few minutes since he got home from work), and I was in one of those weird half-awake states where I could see and hear, but just couldn't manage to get any coherent words our of my mouth (or even assemble an answer in my head).

That was the earliest night I've had in ages, and boy did I need it.

That night I also had weird and wacky dreams. One bit I can remember is in my dream, I was walking around the University where I studied with some of my (real life) uni mates, and we were heading from the pub to buy a falafel somewhere. I was talking to one of my male friends about his divorce (in real life, this has happened in the past year or so), but I just couldn't seem to say anything wise or tactful, and everything came out wrong. I think I know what this dream is about - let's just say it's about gender architypes and roles and letting go of some bits and embracing others....

Blaargh!

2008-10-09T08:30:00.003+11:00

Breathing a sigh of relief today, as life has somewhat returned to normal.

We are all recovered, E-chan is back at kindy today, and we are trying to make up our lost hours. Nanna has left and taken all of her lack-of-personal-boundaries issues with her, which of course came to a head again as it always does when she stays with us for more than a couple of days, and always when C-chan isn’t around. I mean seriously matriarchs of the world – drop your “need to be needed” approach to everything once your kids have grown up, and leave the issue alone if your offer for help is turned down on occasion. It’s not the end of the world, and independence is healthy for your adult kids. My own mother would have been like this too, had I not given her grief as a teenager with my fierce independence. And she has at least worked out that it’s best for everyone if you organise the odd activity on your own and away from the house when staying somewhere for extended periods. But I sound ungrateful. As well as looking after E-chan for a week, she helped out with the dishes, vacuumed and a few other helpful odd tasks!

Other issues and thoughts:
– perhaps we will get a cleaner mostly to clean the bathroom and maybe do some ironing??
– Toilet cleaner commercials ridiculously overstate the dirtiness of your average toilet, as well as implying that a good old toilet brush and a bit of elbow grease won’t do the trick most of the time.
– We have some ferals over the back fence! What would life be without some weird neighbours to scrutinise?
– Must clean up my language. NOW. Picked up E-chan to carry him to his pram when it was time to leave this morning, and he objected and struggled out of my arms, causing me to lose me balance and almost fall to the ground. Uttered “S—t, Ethan!”, to which he called out “S—t Mummy!” as if it is the appropriate response, whilst continuing to squirm out of my arms. Attempt 2 involved coaxing to the pram with favourite toy in hand, which worked much better and involved no expletives.
- Radio going on about the economy, whilst I can hear "tractor tractor tractor tractor...." to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!

What is happening in everyone else’s world? Betty Sue, do you still exist? B Sharp, are you still frantically busy? Seagreen, read and loved your zine which arrived on Tuesday. Angel, how are you now? We are free of gastro now and there is no risk of contamination. Who else is reading this thing?

Mathematical genius!

2008-10-06T13:36:00.002+11:00

Did anyone else spot the mathematical error in my post before last? The bit about if every american got a million dollars, it would cost less than a billion?

Of course, 300,000,000 x 1,000,000 = 300,000,000,000,000 or 300 Trillion.
Ooops. Notably more than 700 Billion. I realised this a day or so after thinking it, but didn't have a moment to correct myself.

Seems I'm not the only one who had this big idea - that's right, I can count myself as in the same intellectual class as Russell Crowe.

Back on track

2008-10-06T12:47:00.003+11:00

We've had a bit of an eventful week. Last Sunday, our little boy woke up early from his nap, screaming. This had happened a few times while he had gastro, but his sore tummy would subside and eventually we could distract him from his discomfort. This time, the screaming went on for an hour or so. This, coupled with the fact his gastro didn't seem to be going away, convinced us to take him to hospital.

He screamed the whole way there, didn't stop to look at the ambulance (a sure sign things weren't right), and screamed in the waiting room. Luckily they took us in right away - the paediatrics ward seemed to be quite empty, or was it they wanted to stop the screaming?! Anyhow, they had to give him painkillers and put him on a drip, and he was poked and prodded in his belly by the doctors on the ward followed by the paediatric sugeon on call. A decision was made to tranfer him to one of the city's children's hospital, so that he could have an ultrasound that evening and they could check that his bowels were OK.

We went for a ride in an ambulance (they had a little kiddy-car seat strapped to a stretcher to transport him!), then once at the children's hospital, they had little mobile DVD-players, so at least we could watch some things while we waited. The nurses and doctors were much better at handling kids. After a couple more doctors poking and prodding and an ultrasound, we were finally transferred to a ward at about 1am. The ultrasound didn't pick up anything unusual. What a long day!

That night was hard - they had a difficult time keeping him still while they tried to tap his vein, and at some stage he had a tube down his nose, which he kept trying to rip out (they decided later it wasn't necessary, and took it out, thank goodness). I slept on a fold out bed just next to him, so at least he wasn't alone.

He didn't really seem better the next day. More poking and prodding from the doctors on the ward and the paediatric surgeon doing his rounds. Finally at the end of the day, after a minor dummy spit from us* trying to find out from the doctor what was causing this prolonged gastro and how long he'd have to stay in there, there was a breakthrough of sorts. E-chan had been to the doctor the previous week, and they'd taken a sample, and we told the ward doctor this (we'd thought we'd told them already, but maybe we'd only remembered to tell the previous 6 doctors we'd seen...). He'd had other pathology samples taken in hospital, but it would take a day or two to get thes results back. She went away, and came back buzzing 30 minutes later - apparently the results were back and they'd identified a parasite (a unicellular thing). The parasite was treatable with antibiotics, and he was started on a course that evening.

The next day thank goodness, he was notably better. He told the Doctor to "Go away!" when he came by to check up on him (hmmm). He was drinking and eating well, taken off the drip, and we were discharged after lunch. He's recovered completely now. Never been so happy to see a normal, solid poo in my entire life!! Sorry for giving too much information there, but that's how it is. I'm hoping we never have to take him to hospital again!

His Nanna (my M-i-L) came over to look after him last week fortunately, so we were able to go back to work and catch up on things, and know he was being well looked after. She'll be here until tomorrow night.

* We had forgotten this is sometimes what you have to do to get answers in hospital

Sleep torture

2008-09-27T14:19:00.007+10:00

Lots of topics have come to the fore of my brain this week – it’s been another stress filled week, where my son has come down with gastro a second time, really badly, after having it last week and being temporarily sick with it, then having it move through the family, one by one, gradually recovering. This time, as if a cruel cosmic prank has been played on us, he has a night time cough, so that by day, we are changing nappies all the time, and at night, our sleep is interrupted by coughing at the least, and at other times a very upset little boy, working himself up into an inconsolable frenzy of coughing, crying, frustration at not being able to say what he wants to, and on 2 occasions, being sick all over me, so that we both have to have a midnight shower while Dad frantically cleans up around the place. Situations around you can seem worse than they actually are, in these conditions...

- To work or not to work?
That is not really the question. I kind of need to for now. But I'm beginning to see the attraction of being a full time mother. Especially when illnesses strike repeatedly. Cold after flu after gastro and back again at the beginning. It's wearing down our defenses. No matter how understanding your boss, or how family friendly your work-place's policies are, it's one of the downsides of being a working parent. Your private life is always thrust out there for all to see... "my son is sick, I have to work a half day today"... or "my son is sick, and my partner can't take today off". No matter whether you have enough leave, or if you make the time up later, you always feel as if you are on the back foot, in a poorer negotiating position.
I chat to my Mum about how they made do with less and she stayed home until I was three, then worked night shift at a nursing home so that she could be home for us. She was in the same boat as us, with all her family interstate as we grew up, but then airfares were more expensive and child care rare. But I also know for much of my childhood, my mother was unfulfilled on many levels. C-chan and I also think it would be preferable for us both to maybe work 3 or 4 days, or something like that. We'll aim for that in the long run. However on some levels I do think that E-chan benefits from his days in care - he's learning to share, care and befriend.

-Sick with worry...
E-chan has been sick so much this year, I'm beginning to worry about him. All anecdotal evidence suggests that in a few years, his immune system will strengthen, and he'll start fighting off more bugs than he comes down with. The Doctor has a sample in for analysis, says only time will mend things, and for him to rest, eat what he can and try to avoid lactose in case gastro-induced intolerance has set in. He's not dehydrated, and much of the day he seems happy and quite active. His height and weight are average, not below. He's delightful to be around most of the time (except when having the requisite 2 year old tantrum). But I hate to see him suffering - coughing and spluttering in the middle of the night, with a "tummy sore! tummy sore!", and NOT A THING I CAN DO ABOUT IT but give him cuddles, kisses, water, and maybe get him interested in a book to distract him from his aches, pains and coughing spasms.

- Career crisis #46
What area should I work in? Will I ever get to work in a field again that I really believe in? When and what might I study in the future? Is my career going backwards? Yawn.

- Why have my last 2 bosses been the same type of personality??
Having realised in the the last month that my current and last boss have both been of a similar personality, I this week almost wanted to give up. Too hard. (see below). Is dealing with these kinds of people a lesson the cosmos has decided I must learn? Do my bosses pick me because they think I'm a pushover and can boss me around? Why does it bug me that a Boss can boss me around - isn't that what bosses do? I know how to deal with them, so why don't I just do that? Why am I so bloody willful at times? Is it that hard to change as a just-over-30-year-old?

- I really need more than 3 hours sleep to function properly...
The actual source of most of my problems, insecurities, neuroses, tears and feelings of unempowerment this week, is sleep deprivation I realise, when I get out into the sunshine and talk to some friends.

- I am supermum!!
While Ethan was not fully recovered, he demanded to go to playgroup on his usual day. Climbed in the pram and waited for me to get ready, but insisting all the while we go to playgroup. So we got there late and left early, so he could have his fix of sandpits, toy kitchens, and trikes (I was careful to avoid contaminating others, and he mostly played on his own). I was on dishwashing duty and my phone rang, and it was a work related matter. I managed to hold an intelligent, 5 minute long conversation with someone whilst doing the dishes and keeping an eye on my 2-year-old. There wasn't even a moment later where I realised I omitted to say something, or said something wrong. I pulled off some multi-tasking there, and it felt fabulous! All is not quite that bad perhaps.

- Don Bradman's bloody cricket bat up for auction (again), a.k.a. "I can't believe the news today"
Is it just me, or does some Don Bradman memorabilia seem to be up for auction just about every week? I've yet to find a person who cares. So why does it keep turning up on the news and in papers? And in other news, greedy, large banking corporations are failing and going bankrupt and getting bailed out with hundreds of billions of dollars, while millions of middle to low income earners are being evicted, seeing their property's value plummet, or at the best, just managing to scrape together their mortgage payments, with no such help from their government. Even if every American citizen was given a million dollars, it would cost less than a billion dollars. Where is the equity in that?

- my friends are lovely
I'm inspired by my friends this week, they do all sorts of amazing things. They publish their own zines; they live overseas and work freelance; they suffer miscarriages and burst into tears telling us about it, but still see it from a philosophical perspective; they stick to their dreams, they say things like "they almost had us by the tits" instead of the masculine "they had us by the balls" in meetings and don't care that more conventional people sitting around the table are mouths agape (how I miss working with her!); they read books comparing Orwell and Evelyn Waugh and in her mummy-brain moment, mentions it to her mum-friends, apparently unaware that most of our company haven't read books by either of these authors (and even I, the next most well read in the group, could not get past the first page of Brideshead Revisited, despite having read a few Orwells). But what a mummy-brain moment to have?
And best of all, some of these new friends I've made since having E-chan are beginning to feel like old friends, like family.

Quote of the week...

2008-09-24T14:38:00.003+10:00

Australia's Governor-General, Ms Quentin Bryce says:

I've been saying to young women, you can have it all but not all at the same time, and how important it is to take very good care of yourself, of your mental and physical and spiritual wellbeing.

Cheers to that!

Blog stalker!

2008-09-22T08:24:00.002+10:00

I've checked out some new Blogger features, and tried to add a Blog roll, but it makes me look like a blog stalker! All I want is to be notified when certain blogs update, so I don't have have to check all the time.

this'n'that

2008-09-22T08:05:00.004+10:00

I'm watching vintage (80's) play school videos - well someone else is and I can't help but see the odd snippet. Leggings and big baggy t-shirts were a really bad look, I reckon. I have been guilty of wearing this combination, but only to the gym or to bed, so I think I can be forgiven - anyone would look at me and say "oh, she's going to the gym...". I hope.

(That's E-chan in the blue t-shirt, by the way...)

We had a housewarming party on the weekend! House is warm now! The place was full of toddlers - literally kids climbing the stairs, driving trucks and trains along, transporting ice from the grog trough to the pot plant and back again, pinching cheese from the table and going off into the corner to eat it! Somewhere in the past year or two, our balance of friends has shifted to mostly include families with young kids, while our single/child-free friends avoid our parties like a plague... or so it seems. And an absolute champion and her Auntie stayed late and helped tidy up! Thank you!

The grand plan was to have video footage of the house, and put it up on a Schmacebook virtual party website, so folks from out of town could have a tour of the new house. But alas, the cord linking the video to the computer is still at large (put it down to things not yet finding their proper spot since we moved house...). So they had to make do with fancy real estate agent shots and random party snapshots.

Lessons in giving titles to modern ladies

2008-09-12T10:08:00.003+10:00

(AKA Part 2 of the below post)
(AKA stop me if you've heard this one before...)

Contrary to popular belief, changing your surname upon getting married is not easy, and along with having to provide your marriage certificate to the Births Deaths and Marriages Dept along with filling out forms, there are UMPTEEN places you then have to change your name (all those bank accounts, assets, utilities etc etc). This added up to TOO MUCH WORK for me, along with the fact that I'm quite fond of my family name and who it connects me to, no matter how often it is misspelt or misheard.

BUT. Being married does not automatically make me a Mrs!

Lets say for example, Miss Green marries Mr Brown, but doesn't change her surname. Why would you then start to call Miss Green "Mrs Green"? She is not married to someone with the same surname as her (hopefully not a cousin...?), and she is not a married woman living in sin with a Mr Brown! Nor would it be really appropriate to continue to be known as Miss Green (if she ever did). This seems to be a huge problem for people out there. "oh no! She's married, but has a different name to her spouse!! What do we do?!!".

The answer is simple, people.

Ms.

I know it's not everyone's favourite, but like using the title "Mr", your marital status doesn't matter, nor does your age.

Please move with the times people.

----

That being said, I don't take offence if people address letters to "Mr and Mrs Brown" (using the above example) or "The Brown Family". I know who they mean.

Does that make me conflicted?

How long has it been since the feminist movement now?

2008-09-06T12:34:00.002+10:00

We just had people over - mums I know from our antenatal class plus their toddlers. We catch up every few months or so.

C-chan was up at the crack of dawn* making mini-cupcakes, then decorating them with simple letters of the alphabet. Pretty darn tasty, if you ask me! He also cut up fruit on a platter, while I put ham and cheese in small croissants, did the dishes and swanned about in my ugg boots. Team effort, really, as is usual in our household when we're both there.

Result: "Oh, Meririsa! wonderful cupcakes! Wow, you've put on all this food."

I didn't hear this therefore couldn't correct them, and C-chan smiled gracefully and was too modest to say he'd made a majority of the food. I think in future I'm going to make the assumption (when visiting a household with a heterosexual couple) that the male did the cooking - "oh Bob!? did you cook this? No? Oh I thought I heard someone say you did!". I may make myself (even more) unpopular, though...

* OK slight exaggeration - it's a weekend and we didn't get up until 7:30...

Playgroup

2008-08-28T14:41:00.003+10:00

Going to playgroup is becoming a highlight of our day off. I know half the families there from my mother's group, but am getting to know some others too, which is nice. What's probably coolest is that E-chan is allowing other mums to help him if he needs it, and some of the little boys (mostly boys at our playgroup for some reason) ask me to help them get their gumboots back on, or read a book to them while their mum is busy in the kitchen. It's nice to be needed or even recognised by other people's kids. Your own kids need you and love you, and that's just part of the package (but no less lovely), but when another young child singles you out for help or company, or calls you by your name, it's a nice thing! I suppose I am making new friends, just a lot younger than most of the friends I've made up until now.

Our numbers at playgroup were dwindling earlier in the winter, and we had to do some promotion recently - there are 2 other playgroups in the area on the same day, but we want to keep ours going because we like it best. It's volunteer run (ie by parents and carers), with mostly unstructured play with fruit and sandwiches, and the occasional party or event or excursion. One little boy comes dressed in a spiderman suit most weeks! Anyhow, I set up a website linked to a generic email address, and we put ads in the local papers. Now we are getting more new people come by and try it out.

Trying out a playgroup is hard to do - I remember. You are coming to meet people and hopefully become friends, and so that your little one might also learn a thing or two about making friends, co-operating, sharing, taking turns, and imaginative play. It can take 6 or 7 visits until you find you click with other people, given most of the time you are trying to make sure your child isn't pouring sand in someone's hair or falling off their trike. And while we go every week, I'm not entirely sure E-chan always loves it, but he is beginning to learn some social skills and engage in co-operative play that is appropriate for his age. At the moment he doesn't really get the idea of group activities though, and he hangs back and does what he wants to instead. That reminds me of someone else I know...

I like to be all-inclusive most of the time, and get, well... embarrassed I suppose, when people I know have exclusive conversations that no one else can follow, leaving most of the rest of us not knowing whether to try and enter into the conversation, or just go find something else to do. I would hate it if someone came along and never came back because we didn't talk to them enough. There are a few ladies who are like that (they've become really good friends and talk mostly to each other and I don't think they think about how they come across to new people...). I know, we are all guilty of this from time to time, especially around old friends, but a non-private playgroup is not the time or place. I try to compensate by doing some introducing, showing around and asking casual questions when a new family pops by. Today we had 4 new families, including 2 Dads, come along with their kids! Nice to meet men who have just as much trouble finishing their sentences as I do, due to the antics of their little sub-2-year-old in their care!

Ahh that's better

2008-08-28T14:13:00.002+10:00

Towards contentedness
The unsettledness I felt a few weeks ago has dissipated somewhat. A few days off, frolicking in the sunshine has been good for me. I suppose going from one job to another without a break caught up with me. And me plus no holidays for over half a year can mean one grumpy chicken. Anyway, working is busy but going well, life is going well, and I'm making more time for some things I like to do when I can.

Babies
I cuddled a newborn on the weekend, who is just beginning to lose that almost generic newborn look, and start to look like his mother, father, and big sister, and of course his own person. It felt like such a privilege, especially as it’s my 3rd cuddle now. “Remember me?”. His 5-weeks-from-the-womb eyes are beginning to fix on things, including my face, when I pull faces, smile and talk to him. What tiny, tiny little feet, with a fragile, delicate little body! My friend (the mother) is gradually working out how to manage both of them, with their different eating, sleeping, playing and toilet habits, but she, the perfectionist, is disheartened at her lack of progress... I've always wanted 2 children, and I think I could still manage that, but I do understand now why some families stop at one.

Singing
Our little boy loves to sing. Sometimes what he sings is recognisable, but much of the time, it’s a bubbly, babbly little voice, that accompanies our pram journeys or his solitary play with toys. I think it’s just lovely! I wish I had a recorder handy to record the sound. I’m aware that parents can be biased about such things… fast forward a few years to the school play or choir, parents beaming with pride in the audience, discussing amongst themselves “ooh! I think he’s talented – more so than the other kids, don’t you reckon?”, and signing him up for music classes or whatever. So I’ll stop short of saying I think he’s talented, but say instead that he seems to love singing, and being sung to, so I’m going to encourage it whenever I can.

duh!

2008-08-21T15:18:00.003+10:00

After having a pot plant for over 2 years now in a plastic pot, I just re-potted into a nice ceramic pot. White glaze with nice blue botanic design on the side. And I am wondering "why the hell didn't I do this sooner?". The difference between looking at a plant in a black plastic pot and one in a ceramic pot is like the difference between looking at a milk crate and a nice arm chair!

Anyhow, needless to say, I am pleased with the result!

finding his own style...

2008-08-16T19:12:00.002+10:00

Ethan is demanding that he wear t-shirts with planes, trains, cars and things that go. Day, and night. Even if that means putting them under his PJ's. Gets tricky when they're all in the wash. I have been able to convince him to wear his t-shirt with bugs and spiders on it instead, but it's not easy.

I was telling my Dad about this last weekend while he stayed with us, and he told me that my own (older) brother went for a year or so when he wouldn't leave the house without his cowboy gear! Yeee har! didn't know that! A rare tid bit I can store and save for a moment when he deserves to be teased!!

new dwellings

2008-08-07T16:49:00.002+10:00

Over a month has gone by in our new house and it feels properly like home now. I’m remembering where I put things, where Ethan is likely to put things, working out what we can live with and what perhaps could be fixed, and learning the lie of the neighbourhood. I’m getting much more exercise by walking to work most days (to the point where I might ditch the gym membership when it expires). But I’m also driving more – this is because there is no bus that will take me within a 15 minute walk to Ethan’s child care centre, which means it doesn’t really help to catch a bus in rainy weather. But again the drive is only a few Km.

The effect on Ethan was quite profound, as forewarned by our mother-of-two friend and veteran of 3 interstate moves. He still wants to go towards our old house sometimes on the way home. It took a few weeks for him to be OK with his new room, and he pulled all our strings to get us to come to him at night time, and even developed a new habit of wanting to come into our bed. We can’t get him to sleep in his bedroom during the day, and have to resort to pushing him to sleep in the pram (which we can’t really do in Summer, so we’ll have to work towards something else…). The whole move was a stressful nightmare. So many decisions to be made in rapid time, all the while life carries on, bills come in, we go to work, we plan and cook dinners, and try to find moments where we can enjoy ourselves. And for a while, everything seemed difficult and there was no relief in sight! AM NOT IN A HURRY TO MOVE AGAIN ANY TIME SOON!

Lately I’ve been, well, on the slightly more depressed end of my normal range (I know – I can feel your eyes wandering off into the distance, or focussing on the more interesting brightly coloured thing to the right of your screen…). To put things in perspective, I’m not often prone to getting very depressed and have never sought medical help for it (perhaps my life has been fortunate enough that nothing has ever sent me that low?). But there are patches – like most of us have, I assume – where there doesn’t seem to be much to look forward to, where certain aspects of your life seems irretrievably stuck and off track (e.g. “career”), where you feel unconnected, where you’re not sure what your strengths are anymore, where you are a stress ball and keep reacting to things you don’t usually react to, and you dwell on things, and assume the worst. And let’s not even cover what an impatient, un-fun mother I’ve been during this time (Ethan still loves me, bless him, but lately I haven’t felt like I’ve deserved it).

And I’ve decided I don’t like myself much when I’m stressed (does anyone actually like themselves when they are stressed?), and I haven’t yet learned how to manage that, or even think about how I might be able to change. I sometimes wonder if it is possible to change certain fundamental parts of your personality - I don’t think it’s easy to when you have little time and energy to devote to it.

So now we’re trying to take a breather – well as much as regular life allows. And life is looking up now - back on the up-cycle again. We even had friends over for dinner on Saturday night! Made ripper chocolate puds and caramelised onion (not eaten together, mind). And Ms J babysat for a few hours last night while I had to go somewhere! And my Dad is visiting this weekend. And another friend came back from overseas. And 2 friends have newborns! And another is recently pregnant!! And another is about to have twins! Ooh! AND I may have another niece or nephew early next year too - babies babies!

Good morning, Grumplestiltskin! And other conversations with our toddler...

2008-07-19T15:28:00.003+10:00

Grumpy 2 y.o. was whining when we got him up from his cot this morning...

Daddy: do you want a nappy change?
G2yo: NO! No nappy change!!
Daddy: do you want a hug?
G2yo: NO! NO HUG!
Daddy: do you want to be grumpy then?
G2yo: NO! No be grumpy!! (said most grumpily)
we're around the corner trying not to laugh out loud.

------

We're making dinner last night, and having cheese on crackers to stave off the hunger until the soup is ready. We offer E-chan cheddar on a cracker, but he sees us having camembert...

E-chan: more, more cheese?!
Mummy: oh, you want posh cheese do you?
E-chan: posh cheese! posh cheese!!

(by the way, he can also say "parmesan cheese")

------

The vocab is increasing at an explosive rate now! It's amazing. Almost everything we say gets parroted, as if he's just testing the words out, trying them on for size, finding out how they sound coming from his own lips. Sometimes we are bowled over, sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes, we realise we need to be careful what we say... (e.g. shouldn't say "big stinky poo", "oh crap", or "bugger")

themes...

2008-07-16T15:17:00.002+10:00

Isolation... Of not having a working phone or internet for a while (not just us it seems…) and not being able to talk to our dearest and not-so-nearest. Of being too busy doing stuff for our new house and missing some regular activities. Of not knowing if it will be affordable to visit my sibling in Japan in coming years due to rising airfares. Of not knowing who we can ask for help at very short notice when our child is sick, without interrupting people at work, or infecting other kids. Of getting used a new neighbourhood and not knowing where is the closest place to buy milk, when there used to be a shop downstairs from your old place. Of not having the equivalent of the friendly lady from the Lebanese takeaway shop – who is now a 20 minute walk away, during which your felafel would get cold on the way home. Of noticing the neighbours from over the hallway came out to chat to the removal guys the day we moved, but haven’t come over to introduce themselves to us even though we moved in over 3 weeks ago. Of wondering why people seem to fear the simple politeness of introducing themselves to their neighbours, as if it will lead to countless requests to borrow some sugar (as if that would be so terrible).

Worry... that civilisation is downhill from here, that we seem to be grasping for an idea of how life is headed. That parts of our society that have been commonplace for 50 years may be on their way out, and wishing I’d talked to my grandparents more about how life was during the depression, so that I might be better prepared. Worrying that I might not have enough practical skills, that I’m not resourceful enough. Worrying that certain parts of our current life would be irrelevant in a society less affluent than today's. Worrying that my last apostrophe is in the wrong place. Worrying that I don't make enough effort to buy second-hand furniture. Wondering how we can change our stupid halogen downlights in our new place into something more energy efficient. Because we all keep getting sick, and that I am using up all my sick leave too quickly. That I need a holiday but don't know when I can do it.

Hope... because we are showing signs of adapting to our new surroundings, and our son is adapting too, despite having been moved from the only home he’s known. That the (slightly older) kids in our neighbourhood play cricket in the closed off bit of laneway near our house while one of the mums looks on. That friends and family make contact – eventually! That other owner-occupiers in our unit complex do strike up conversations, even tell you their first names and where they live, and are as concerned about the management of the place as you are. Of babies just born and babies just about to be...

economic cycles

2008-07-09T17:35:00.001+10:00

http://www.abc.net.au/rn/counterpoint/stories/2008/2296549.htm

I caught the end of this interview on Radio National - recommended listening. No transcript as yet, but you can listen to the recording at the above link.

my frankly vulgar green pullover (part 10?)

2008-07-09T17:24:00.000+10:00

Things are getting a bit dire in the wardrobe stakes if the best you can muster to wear to work on a COLD COLD day is too-long denim jeans that you haven’t managed to take up yet, brown, ankle-high boots, and a green roll-neck jumper. A jumper that you later realise has a small hole in the back and that’s right – I’d forgotten - a bit of wool has caught and won’t go back in place from when you borrowed your brothers jacket and it had inward facing rough Velcro on it, silly. Oh and a shapeless dark grey coat to wear outside.

I sometimes like to think that it is good not to be obsessed with appearance. My scale of things I make time for during leisure time:

High – seeing friends and talking to family, eating nice food (including shopping for it), thinking and talking about stimulating and important issues (!)
Medium – watching a few certain television programs (even if recorded and watched later), exercise, reading, listening to music, bitching and moaning
Low – waxing, haircutting, applying makeup, shopping for clothes*, styling hair
Virtually never – colour hair, paint nails, drawing#*, painting* and sewing*

* I have to say I enjoy doing, but OPPORTUNITIES ARE RARE WHEN YOU HAVE A TODDLER WITH YOU MUCH OF THE TIME!!
# excluding texta scribbles in scrapbooks, which I’m doing lots of at present

So you see, even exercise ranks higher than grooming. But all this is hardly virtuous if you start each day struggling to put together a look you are happy with from your wardrobe, want to get rid of half of it but then you’d only have half a wardrobe, or be wearing the same thing over and over… hardly proves you are not preoccupied with appearance, does it?

So Monday, I planned to spend a clothing voucher, but ran out of time. The other week, I got a wax for the first time in god knows how long (I was getting horrified glances at my middle regions from young girls in the showers at the swimming pool! I could almost see them alarmed at the thought that they might end up like this at the onset of puberty!!) Now I just need to take care of my legs; but then, it’s winter, right? Tomorrow night, I’m having my first hair cut in over 6 months (things got a bit awkward with my regular hairdresser once they messed up an appointment and I couldn’t reschedule due to flying out interstate the next day, so I’m trying a new one…)

I noticed a groovy little 2nd hand clothes store not 5 minutes from my new home. Maybe that will help? And Angel finally gave me a solution to my longstanding problem in finding knee high boots that fit my what apparently are MASSIVE calves (if average boots are anything to go by) – a friend of hers just gave up looking and had some tailor made!! What an idea! Get a brown and black pair done at the same time!! Worth it, I think because I’ve shopped around for a pair every year for the past 5 years or so, and they keep coming back in fashion.

To do list:
- Out with the daggy, saggy, one size too big (I’ve lost weight in the past year or so, it seems) dull coloured clothes!
- Make an effort to get those suit pants taken in so they aren’t constantly being hoiked up!
- get some boots made that FIT MY CALVES

Who wants to make a clothes shopping date? I need both work and casual clothes…

Gruesome title for my adoptive state

2008-07-02T15:23:00.001+10:00

For years, other South Australians and I have had to put up with South Australia being labelled as the state where weird serial murders happen. Kids going missing from the beach on sunny days, never to be seen again… bodies in barrels (not in Adelaide, I’d like to point out, but an hour north in a small country town)... the guy who took an axe to his ex-girlfriends’ new boyfriend, which rocked my working community – I actually knew the killer’s father. I’m sure there are more gruesome murders attributed to SA, but I just haven’t elected to retain this information in my brain over more important matters I need to remember.

But anyway, ever protective towards the place where I grew up, a while back I was trying to come up with a ready-made and witty comeback to throw at any New South Welshman who threw an insult at my home state by labelling it as the Serial Killer State. This used to happen quite a lot, as there is a particular breed of New South Welsh-people who think that Sydney is the only city in Australia, and everything else is too boring to mention or should be made fun of. They usually haven’t lived anywhere but Sydney, or can’t work out how to occupy themselves outside a dense urban environment. At that particular time, Sydney seemed to be having a drive-by-killing every other week. “Here’s my chance”, I thought! But Sydney just doesn’t cut it in the drive-by-killing stakes, when you compare it to LA, or perhaps less stable countries in the world.

But finally, NSW has done it. I think NSW can be safely labelled as the “Family Murder-Suicide State”. Every week at the moment there is a case of someone either killing their entire family, or killing most of their family followed by themselves.

But that's not very funny, is it?